When Strength Becomes the Problem: A Vietnam Veteran's Journey Through Trauma, Burnout & Recovery

Burnout doesn't happen because you're weak.

More often, it happens because you've spent years being strong for everyone else.

In this deeply moving episode of Growing Tall Poppies, Dr Nat Green sits down with US Marine and Vietnam Veteran, author and speaker Keith A. Cole to explore the hidden cost of carrying trauma alone, the long road to burnout, and the powerful role that faith, connection and daily practices played in his recovery.

As a member of the US Marine Corps and Wounded three times during the Vietnam War, Keith returned home determined to simply keep going. He built a successful career as a CPA, became the guardian of his younger siblings after losing both parents, and worked tirelessly to provide for those around him. But beneath the surface, unresolved trauma, relentless responsibility and decades of pushing through eventually caught up with him.

Keith shares the moment everything changed, why asking for help became the strongest thing he ever did, and the practical recovery framework he now teaches to help others rebuild their lives after burnout.

Whether your trauma comes from combat, caregiving, childhood adversity, chronic stress or simply years of carrying too much, this conversation is a powerful reminder that healing isn't something you have to do alone.

In this episode we discuss:

• Keith's journey from Vietnam combat veteran to burnout survivor
• How unresolved trauma silently shapes our lives for decades
• Why high achievers often ignore the warning signs of burnout
• PTSD, hypervigilance and the long-term impact of chronic stress
• The hidden danger of believing you always have to be strong
• Why burnout is often the result of an overwhelmed nervous system
• The importance of connection and asking for support
• Keith's daily recovery framework built around action, gratitude, prayer, rest, exercise and intentional reflection
• Practical habits that support long-term recovery after trauma and burnout
• Why healing begins when we stop trying to carry everything on our own

Memorable quote

"It doesn't take strength to suffer. It takes strength to ask for help."

Connect with Keith A. Cole

Website: recoverybyfaith.com https://recoverybyfaith.com/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/kacolecpa/

Book: (available online via Amazon and bookstores or via Keith's website)
Burnout: God's Recovery Plan – A Marine's Story of Trauma, Surrender, and Healing Through Faith

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who may need the reminder that they don't have to carry their struggles alone.

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green 0:04

Welcome to Growing Tall Poppies, Thrive After Trauma. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I am so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through trauma or significant challenges, and not just survive, but to thrive after it. This is a space for people who've been through trauma or adversity, have done some healing, and know they're meant for more than just coping. This podcast is about post-traumatic growth, not getting back to who you used to be. Rather, understanding who you are now and learning how to stand tall without shrinking, forcing, or abandoning yourself. Here, we explore identity after adversity, integrity and visibility wounds, nervous system wisdom, and what it really takes to move forward in a way that feels aligned, embodied, and true. You will hear a blend of deep solo conversations and powerful guest interviews with people who have lived this work, not just studied it. Because growth doesn't come from pushing harder. It comes from understanding how you adapted, honoring your nervous system, and gently updating the old agreements that no longer fit the life you're ready to live. If you're ready to stop hiding, stop performing, and start owning who you are becoming, then you are in the right place. Let's grow tall together Hello, and welcome back to Growing Tall Poppies. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I am really honored today to bring you our next guest on the podcast. It's my absolute pleasure to welcome a lovely man I've recently connected with, Keith A. Cole. Now, Keith is a Marine Corps Vietnam combat veteran, retired certified public accountant, speaker and author of Burnout: God's Recovery Plan, A Marine's Story of Trauma, Surrender, and Healing Through Faith. Wounded three times during combat in Vietnam, Keith spent decades building a successful career while quietly carrying the effects of trauma and the weight of life's responsibilities, and eventually those pressures led to severe burnout. And rather than allowing burnout to define his life, Keith discovered a path of recovery rooted in surrendering to God, renewing his mind through scripture, and practicing daily disciplines that restored his emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Now, today, Keith shares a message of hope with audiences through podcasts, and I'm feeling very, very privileged that he's offered to speak on our podcast. He does speaking engagements, and he loves and enjoys his writing. His passion is helping others understand that burnout is not failure, healing is possible, and lasting recovery comes through God's faithfulness. So welcome, Keith. It's so great to have you here.

Keith A Cole 3:36

Well thank you so very much, Nat. It is definitely, my privilege to be here. I, I'm so, uh, overwhelmed by that, and I really appreciate you and your story and everything that you're doing as you're reaching out to your audience.

Dr Nat Green 3:52

Oh, and thank you. And I just wanted to highlight as well that it's very, very early where Keith lives, over in the US. And I did find out when we were chatting recently that Keith has a very disciplined ritual, and gets up extremely early when most of us are definitely still in our beds. So I'd love you to tell us a little bit more about who you are outside of the amazing bio that I read out, and what you do in the world.

Keith A Cole 4:25

Yeah. Thank you, Nat. As you mentioned, I'm a, a Marine Corps veteran, and, there's the story how I got there, but the, uh... after the Marines then I went to college and I- started, uh, doing income taxes, and I liked that, so I majored in accounting I became certified, and then, after a while working for different firms and corporations, then I, uh, finally went into business, on my own and, just thinking that probably that I didn't have enough stress, so I, uh- piled it on with that. And, I was very successful in stressing out. Oh. I had it down pretty good by then. And so I was, married to a lovely lovely, and- we've been happily married with some bumps along the way, of course,

Dr Nat Green 5:27

uh- Of course.

Keith A Cole 5:28

But we're very happily married. We just recently had our 45th wedding anniversary.

Dr Nat Green 5:35

Oh, wow, congratulations. That's a huge number. Very impressive.

Keith A Cole 5:41

Yeah, I did, like, you know, like I said, there were some bumps along the road. So I mean, it wasn't, uh, all peaches and cream, you know? That's

Dr Nat Green 5:49

welcome to married life.

Keith A Cole 5:52

Yeah. Yeah, I'm very fortunate that, my wife didn't leave me alone. Yeah.

Dr Nat Green 6:00

That's good. I wanna go back to something you said before as well, Keith, that you really liked doing income taxes. I'm a bit concerned there.

Keith A Cole 6:14

Yeah.

Dr Nat Green 6:15

Like in income taxes in the same line.

Keith A Cole 6:19

I did very poor in school in science, like biology and that sort of thing but I was very good in math.

Dr Nat Green 6:26

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 6:26

And, and so I enjoyed that. But the biggest thing I enjoyed about income taxes was, in the American tax world-

Dr Nat Green 6:35

Mm-hmm

Keith A Cole 6:36

you know, the villain of course is the Internal Revenue Service.

Dr Nat Green 6:39

Yes.

Keith A Cole 6:39

Right? So when somebody gets a letter from the Internal Revenue Service kinda shakes them- to the core.

Dr Nat Green 6:53

Yep.

Keith A Cole 6:54

So I had the opportunity to help people and to calm their nerves somewhat- And let them know that they're not doing their income taxes by themselves, that, I'm a professional and I know very, a lot about income tax- and I'm gonna help. And so that just became a mantra in a way. At that particular time, it was the joy of seeing people get out of a tight fix- Okay that you know, somehow got themselves into.

Dr Nat Green 7:32

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess, you know, that would- be very rewarding for you to know that you were doing something you love, but also really giving back to other people and helping them.

Keith A Cole 7:45

Yeah, e- exactly. That's exactly what it was. And it was very rewarding.

Dr Nat Green 7:50

Mm.

Keith A Cole 7:50

Um, the problem with it was, is that, my business when I was in, you know, in business, and so, I surely took ownership of what I was doing

Dr Nat Green 8:01

Yeah

Keith A Cole 8:02

And, uh, probably, not probably, but, a little more than I should have.

Dr Nat Green 8:09

Mm.

Keith A Cole 8:09

And, and so, uh, at, at times doing an overnighter would be no surprise, you know, I would work through the night, you know, to finish up stuff of course with employees but I was- Probably, uh, overzealous with my, controls Mm-hmm And that type, type of thing that wasn't healthy actually. Mentally healthy.

Dr Nat Green 8:36

Yeah. And I think, you know, as a... I've been a business owner for, goodness, I think 28 years now, and- as a business owner, you do. It's, it's your entire reputation, but it can become-

Keith A Cole 8:51

Yeah

Dr Nat Green 8:51

your life, and you don't just work 10 hours a week, 20 hours a week. It becomes everything. So like you said, over-nighters and being zealous and doing everything you could to run the best business you possibly could was really important to you, and I get that.

Keith A Cole 9:07

Absolutely. Mm. Yeah. You're absolutely right.

Dr Nat Green 9:11

Yeah. So you talked about burnout, so you were working really hard, and I know you mentioned, you said there's a story to how you got into the Marines, and then you were in the Marine Corps for how long? How many years?

Keith A Cole 9:26

So I, I was in the Marines for just a little bit over four years.

Dr Nat Green 9:30

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 9:32

But, I had no intention of becoming a Marine growing up.

Dr Nat Green 9:37

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 9:37

I had three older brothers that were Marines. But I, my whole goal was my whole life as a kid growing up, I was gonna become a, a Methodist minister.

Dr Nat Green 9:49

Okay.

Keith A Cole 9:50

And I really got into it. It was quite a dream for me at the time, it was, as a kid. And I would actually, um, I would preach to my imaginary congregation that sat on the s- the stairs on the steps leading- Mm-hmm to the upstairs in my house.

Dr Nat Green 10:09

Yep.

Keith A Cole 10:10

And funny thing about it, Nat, I mean, I was really into preaching to this crowd that I put there. And every once in a while I would have to call one or two of them out for talking during my sermon and have to settle them down. But as time went on and I was, just early in my senior year of high school- And my dad was only 52. And he had been a railroader his whole life. He was, uh, started working on the railroad when he was 17. And, he's the type of guy that would, uh... He never missed work. Y- you know, I mean, he took a half a day off work on his mother's funeral,

Dr Nat Green 10:58

gosh. Yeah,

Keith A Cole 10:59

it says a lot. It, you know, it just... The work ethic-

Dr Nat Green 11:02

Mm-hmm

Keith A Cole 11:02

part of it, and, he had, during World War II, he wasn't in the Army or Marines or anything. He was on the railroad.

Dr Nat Green 11:09

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 11:09

And so there was an exemption for railroaders or something because, you know, the country needed the railroad service. Yes. And around that same time he had a burst appendix when he was working.

Dr Nat Green 11:24

Okay.

Keith A Cole 11:25

And so, he worked throughout his whole day and he came home and at dinner as my mother told the story, he passed out at the dinner table because of his burst appendix.

Dr Nat Green 11:38

Goodness me.

Keith A Cole 11:38

And that was before penicillin. Oh. And he survived through that. So just, uh, let me tell that little story because he was a very tough guy. You know, a very strong individual. Yeah. And so for him to die at 52 with a stroke- it was not... How could it be his fault, and so w- when that happened, that turned my world upside down, and I just blamed God for not answering my prayer, not saving my dad. Yeah. And I became very rebellious. Mm. I not only just cast aside any thought of ever becoming a minister, you know, i- it was this was God's fault. God did this to me. He did- answer my prayer.

Dr Nat Green 12:27

Yep.

Keith A Cole 12:28

And so, and I, Actually, I even started smoking cigarettes there, oh. But-

Dr Nat Green 12:35

Very rebellious at the time- Uh

Keith A Cole 12:37

no doubt. Yeah. I had little brother and sister and then of course my mother. But their feelings and their loss was totally out of my selfish mind, mm-hmm. My whole thought as a 17-year-old kid was it was me.

Dr Nat Green 12:57

Of course.

Keith A Cole 12:58

It's all about me. Yeah. And so I graduated from high school, and I enlisted into the Marine Corps.

Dr Nat Green 13:05

Okay.

Keith A Cole 13:06

So I had always had the... The Marines don't have chaplains. Use the Navy's chaplains.

Dr Nat Green 13:12

Okay.

Keith A Cole 13:13

So growing up I thought, you know, to appease my brothers, since I'm not gonna be in the, uh, Marines, I would, become a chaplain in the Navy and get assigned to the Marine Corps. That, you know, so I could, you know, keep peace among my brothers. But, all that changed just instantly. You know, just bam, like that. And, Soft, easygoing guy became a real jerk. And so, I enlisted into the Marines. Of course, Vietnam wars going on the same time.

Dr Nat Green 13:44

Mm.

Keith A Cole 13:45

And my thought of that was, "Oh, this is good. More war. That's what I want is war." You know, I talked about, stupid thoughts, stupid actions, and I enlisted in the Marines. And from the Marine Corps went to Vietnam. But before that, w- went through boot camp, and then from boot camp, you know, they're telling us, you know, "Every day, you're going to Vietnam as soon as this is over. Some of you are gonna be coming home, some of you aren't." You know, I mean, that was the whole- story in your brain, right?

Dr Nat Green 14:18

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 14:19

And, uh, so I went to advanced infantry training after that. And then after that, I went to machine gun school. And so when I went to machine gun school, they said, "You're gonna be a machine gunner because you're smarter than these other guys." Oh. And, and, uh, so oh boy, this Marine Corps is in trouble if I'm a smart one. And s- so, I was in Vietnam for, uh, for six months. We had, um, you know, a certain amount of action while I was there. And some of it was, uh, types of things that you do and-

Dr Nat Green 14:52

Yeah

Keith A Cole 14:54

you shoot at people and people shoot at you and that sort of thing. And but I was there six months, and before I got wounded the first time. And, so then it was, uh, about a month and a half or so later, I got wounded again, and then a little bit of time after that I got, I got wounded for the third time.

Dr Nat Green 15:18

Wow.

Keith A Cole 15:18

So the third time, the first time I was in a, on a hospital ship for a little bit. Second time I was just in the field hospital. And so the third time, the wounds were not fixable

Dr Nat Green 15:32

Okay

Keith A Cole 15:33

in a short period.

Dr Nat Green 15:34

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 15:34

So, they sent me back to United States, where I went into the hospital. Uh, a Navy hospital. I was there for several months.

Dr Nat Green 15:45

And,

Keith A Cole 15:46

and then I went back to regular duty. When I went back I went back with what's called I&I duty, inspector and instructor.

Dr Nat Green 15:58

Okay.

Keith A Cole 15:59

And that is we had a compound in the city where the reserves would come on the weekend. And we would work with the reserves, train the reserves. Okay.

Dr Nat Green 16:10

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 16:11

But the main duty was to notify next of kin when, uh- their Marine was either wounded or killed in action.

Dr Nat Green 16:22

Okay.

Keith A Cole 16:23

And then we're the honor guard for the fallen Marine. And, Nat, that was in a lot of ways tougher than actual combat.

Dr Nat Green 16:34

Carrying a very- emotional load at that time

Keith A Cole 16:39

Very, very much so. And so during this period there was, a lot for us to do unfortunately. You know, uh, casualties were mounting up considerably and so I'd been there for about a year when I got a phone call from my brother and said that my mother was dying- and didn't expect her to live through the night. And- she had been sick, which I knew. She had cancer. Okay. And and she had asked me one time that if, uh, if she was not able to live until my younger brother and sister graduated from high school would I be their guardian? And I said, "Yeah, of course I will."

Dr Nat Green 17:23

Mm.

Keith A Cole 17:23

And not having any idea what that meant. But, after her funeral then I went back to my duty station and I applied for a discharge- to be the guardian for my younger brother and sister.

Dr Nat Green 17:41

Which makes complete sense- that you would step up to honor your mum

Keith A Cole 17:46

Yeah, I I didn't know what I was getting into

Dr Nat Green 17:50

No.

Keith A Cole 17:53

But my younger brother and my sister was, at the time, I, I think they were 11 and 13 or something like that. And-

Dr Nat Green 18:01

Oh, so quite, quite a bit younger.

Keith A Cole 18:03

Yeah. But the thing of it was, yeah, at this time I'm 23. I'm 23 and I'm the guardian of these two- teenage kids. They were just about teenage. And, I said, "Okay." That w- that was a handful.

Dr Nat Green 18:18

Yeah. Goodness

Keith A Cole 18:19

And then from there I went to college. But they... At the same time, you know, I started college. And- so I was working, sometimes working part-time, sometimes working full-time. But always going to college. And sometimes it was full-time work and part-time college, part-time- work and full-time college. You know, back and forth. Depend on the job and I got a job at working in a factory, and I wasn't there very long, they fired me. Uh, so I got another job in a factory, and, uh, by this time I had really wised up. I quit before they had a chance to fire me. Oh. But I st- I started doing income taxes part-time. I learned- how to do that. And said, "Wow, I like this." And that's when, uh, I decided, I'd major in tax or rather accounting- and become a CPA.

Dr Nat Green 19:14

So then fast-forward to where we were before I made you recount all that story, sorry. And I'm just thinking as you were telling me that story, how many similarities. You, you're talking about your dad and how tough he was and what a great work ethic he had. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it? Wounded three times. And you kept going and kept going, and then you honored your mom's wishes, and you kept doing the work, the part-time, the full-time, the caring for the kids, and then threw yourself into this business working ridiculous hours. It's no wonder you ended up where you did, is it?

Keith A Cole 20:04

You know, it's something that, part of it was PTSD, you know, from combat

Dr Nat Green 20:11

Of course, yeah

Keith A Cole 20:12

yeah. That was some- I mean, the VA never even accepted it. American Veterans Association never, uh, Department of VA, uh, Veterans never accepted that

Dr Nat Green 20:22

Yeah

Keith A Cole 20:23

until the '80s.

Dr Nat Green 20:24

Same here.

Keith A Cole 20:25

So, you know which would've been, uh, at least 15 years after Vietnam War ended. Yeah. But what I did know through that time is, because I mean, I had, you know, all types of nightmares and stuff through those earlier years especially.

Dr Nat Green 20:42

Of course.

Keith A Cole 20:42

And, but the thing was is that, uh, those were my nightmares and I kept them to myself, it's not something that I'm just gonna say, uh-

Dr Nat Green 20:53

Hmm

Keith A Cole 20:54

I think it was World War I when they started, they came up with the term of, uh, shell shock.

Dr Nat Green 20:59

Yes.

Keith A Cole 21:01

And so, you know, I thought, "Oh, well, that's crazy. I, I don't, I'm, I don't have shell shock." Like we went to some sort of parade and stuff. I can't remember what it was about, but they had the Blue Angels flying.

Dr Nat Green 21:15

Okay.

Keith A Cole 21:15

And we're out in this crowd of people in the city, and these jets start flying over. And, excuse me. I ran for the car and just stayed in the car, trying to get away from the, the noise and stuff.

Dr Nat Green 21:37

Would've been a huge trigger. Huge trigger.

Keith A Cole 21:40

Yeah. Yeah. I thought, "Oh, this is not, this is not normal behavior."

Dr Nat Green 21:45

Mm.

Keith A Cole 21:46

It just something you just never talk about.

Dr Nat Green 21:49

Of course. Mm.

Keith A Cole 21:50

And then of course then I was always concerned of some, uh, there's a stigma perhaps- that might come with that.

Dr Nat Green 21:57

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 21:57

And so I actually just refused to talk about that part of my experience. I would talk about different events and thing in Vietnam. I would share things. I think I shared things of Vietnam more than many veterans would do. But to me, I thought, "Man, maybe this will help me if I can get this get this out somewhat."

Dr Nat Green 22:28

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 22:29

But- For me to say I need help no ch- no chance in the world would I do that.

Dr Nat Green 22:35

No. And back then was so different as well to how it is now, where PTSD is very much recognized and, you know, our, whether it's our veterans or our first responders very much. It's, you know, it still can be quite taboo in some areas, but it's ac- at least acknowledged now and recognized, and treatment's available and more readily accepted. But back then, absolutely not.

Keith A Cole 23:03

Nothing. And, you know, I, I agree with you on that 100%. The fact that, uh, whether you're in combat, you know, a, a, a veteran in, from combat or like you say, an EM and the tragedies that they see and, and- Mm things they go through the different events. Uh, oop, but there's a lot more. You don't have to be an EM or a veteran in combat- to have burnout.

Dr Nat Green 23:35

Oh, absolutely.

Keith A Cole 23:36

Or tr- any type of trauma. I mean, there's all types of ways. But, you know, and I was thinking about this the other day and the, and the fact is is it's- You know life is kind of, it's kind of like a smorgasbord. You know, you can go in there and pick off any type of trauma you want that's out there for you. People suffer all different types-

Dr Nat Green 24:00

Yeah

Keith A Cole 24:00

of trauma, events in their lives from wherever it may be from.

Dr Nat Green 24:07

And what I see so often, I'm glad you raised that, is that people have this habit of minimizing it. "Oh, that wasn't major. Oh, that was nothing compared to what such and such went through, or compared to that." And they, they minimize it, and the reality is trauma is trauma, whether it's what we- Trauma's trauma term a, a little T trauma or a big T trauma. If it's outside your normal and causes you distress and you don't have the skills to cope with it, then trauma is trauma. And I think we need to- Yeah, trauma is trauma normalize that and talk about it. Right. And it's okay to have trauma, or as you said, the burnout, and really the burnout is usually from a nervous system that's fried because- Yeah of exhaustion and little bits of stress, constant stress, hypervigilance, trauma, whatever it is leads to that exhaustion, and your body shuts down, and our nervous system holds onto everything. So yeah, so that- Mm will lead very nicely into you sharing more about burnout and what you've learnt from burnout and what you recognize from your burnout experience.

Keith A Cole 25:35

The biggest thing I've learned is, um- Uh, n- not, not to keep everything on the inside. You know? It's... It should never be a road traveled alone. So the, in my, in, in my case it just, you know, just kinda like all, all came to a head one night in my office. And it was late. Everybody had gone home long before, and, uh- I just, I j- I just felt like, uh, kind of like a, everything was just about to explode or something. I don't know how to say that. But I did keep a bottle of scotch in my, my desk drawer down here. And so I reached down there, I pulled the bottle out, and I, uh- started pouring a glass. I thought, "No, I don't need a glass," and I just, you know, drank from the bottle.

Dr Nat Green 26:37

Oh, goodness. Yeah.

Keith A Cole 26:38

And nor- normally that would, kinda give me a temporary calming of the nerves or something.

Dr Nat Green 26:46

Mm.

Keith A Cole 26:46

But that just, it just seemed different. It just wasn't, just wasn't right in, in my mind.

Dr Nat Green 26:53

Okay.

Keith A Cole 26:53

And so I reached for the bottle again, and I started, uh, to drink again from the bottle. And as I, I started that I recall I, I slammed it back down on the desk and said, "No, I can't do this. I can't do this anymore." Mm. And, and that's when I, I just, I cried out to God to forgive me. Uh, to help me. And but I spent quite a bit more time that night with my face in the floor. That was, uh, very difficult. Mm. It was very tough. It... A- and so then I, as I, as the days went on and I, I kind of, "What? What in the world happened?"

Dr Nat Green 27:45

Mm.

Keith A Cole 27:45

You know, "Why, why, how did this all happen to me like this?"

Dr Nat Green 27:50

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 27:50

And why? Type of thing.

Dr Nat Green 27:53

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 27:53

And so I just, I started writing. Actually, when I started writing, I was writing to me.

Dr Nat Green 27:59

Okay.

Keith A Cole 27:59

Yeah. I'm, I'm trying to lay out what, what happened, how I got from there to there to here. And, like, mm tr- trying to put my thoughts together on that. And, and I, as I was, I was doing that, I prayed a lot through that time. And I thought, "Well, th- you know, this is, this is useful." And I thought, "If it, this is helping me, I wasn't, I wasn't the only one in Vietnam fighting." Mm-hmm. I'm not the only one that got wounded, for Pete's sakes.

Dr Nat Green 28:36

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 28:36

And then I think I went through that whole array that we had just mentioned that, well, it wasn't not just Vietnam, not just combat.

Dr Nat Green 28:44

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 28:44

But there's so many other things where, People are, are, are suffering for different trauma events. And so I think if this helps me, surely it'll help someone else as well. And so I, I took the story that I was writing and I thought, okay. And I, I took my memories and my pain and I poured all this into a fictional Marine that I called Kevin Casey.

Dr Nat Green 29:20

Okay.

Keith A Cole 29:21

So the book has, it's all about Kevin Casey the Marine combat veteran. And, But, and all names are fictional in the book

Dr Nat Green 29:32

Yeah

Keith A Cole 29:33

but the story, the memories, the pain, and the redemption are actually mine.

Dr Nat Green 29:42

Okay.

Keith A Cole 29:43

And that's when, uh... Oh, so I, I wrote in it and I created a separate workbook for it- on the, uh, God's recovery plan Which is a, It's a eight-step process every day. And so, ha- the- contains eight elements.

Dr Nat Green 30:06

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 30:07

Such as, uh, action, prayer scripture reading.

Dr Nat Green 30:13

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 30:13

And but there's these eight different steps, and each one of the steps is, it's grounded in, uh, a Bible verse. So, there's eight different items, and I go through those every day for one week.

Dr Nat Green 30:34

Okay.

Keith A Cole 30:35

And then on the second week same eight elements.

Dr Nat Green 30:39

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 30:40

But, but the, um, the scripture changes for each one of those. The Bible verse changes. Mm-hmm. And so g- it goes for 12 weeks.

Dr Nat Green 30:50

Okay.

Keith A Cole 30:51

Yeah. And the thing about that is I, I've been through it, of course now several times.

Dr Nat Green 30:57

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 30:57

I, I don't know how many. But the, For me, the Bible verses are always telling me so- I'm learning something different- every time I do it. And as, as I get involved in it. And it's created, uh, a, quite a discipline as well. So that for example, action is the very first step because, I still wanna work. I still wanna be active. Yeah. I wanna be a pro- productive citizen, right? And so, but the difference in my action is, is I, I have a- an usually not more than six different items that I'm going to get done today. And so, but- I Prepare those six items through prayer and God's guidance. And, and I know, and I put it in, put them in priority as far as the importance. And I, I understand that I'm gonna go from one to the next, and I've got a time limits on my day.

Dr Nat Green 32:11

Okay.

Keith A Cole 32:12

And so I know that if I would only get three of those things done, I know that I've done all I could do that day.

Dr Nat Green 32:23

Ah. And- So that's self-compassion, not expecting more than you're able to do that day.

Keith A Cole 32:28

Exactly right.

Dr Nat Green 32:30

Excellent.

Keith A Cole 32:30

And so it, I have it under that, that type of, plan. And also during the day, that there's another, there's another step, uh, towards the end of the, all the steps. Well, it's the last one, I believe. And it's called rest.

Dr Nat Green 32:46

Okay.

Keith A Cole 32:46

Rest is not just, uh- Whether, i- i- if you observe the Sabbath or not, but it's- Mm-hmm it's, uh, or just a weekend, taking a weekend off. But I see it as keeping limits on my day that I'm actually working- Ah on what needs to be done. We should- so that I don't work 11 or 12 o'clock or try to do an all-nighter at my age. But the thing of it is, is, I wanna have, that set aside. Then I have time for family time in the evening with my wife. Yeah. And also, I set up a time where I have breaks during the day. And just recently, I haven't... This one's not in the book, but I just recently s- started with one of those breaks is 15 minutes. I take 15 minutes of nothing but quiet, and I make sure there's no distractions to interrupt. I set my timer for 15 minutes And I do my very best to have no thoughts for 15 minutes.

Dr Nat Green 33:58

Wow.

Keith A Cole 33:59

Just peaceful. Okay. Now, this I've just started, so I'll tell you in the future how that works.

Dr Nat Green 34:05

Yeah, work in progress. Now, what I'm loving just hearing you say that, that you've found your own way to set up discipline, routine, a ritual that worked for you, and taking action gets you into that doing and gets you out of your head. So they're all the things that when we're working with someone with trauma that we would suggest they do. And with burnout, you've set really clear limits and acknowledged where things hadn't gone so well in the past and how you can counteract that. So, yeah, they're the things. I've written that down. So action, discipline, rest, just to calm your nervous system and quiet. And I imagine that that's gonna be something that's gonna take practice before that mind goes silent.

Keith A Cole 35:03

Y- yes, exactly. And, uh- And

Dr Nat Green 35:05

the priorities of really acknowledging what's most important for you, the relationships, the people you love, and making time for them. I l- I love it. I think you've- Yeah nailed all the things that we would look for, and I'm looking forward to reading your book.

Keith A Cole 35:25

The, um, couple other of the other elements of the eight elements is one is affirmations. So that what happens is it's, uh, it's an acronym, APRAISR. And so A is action, P is prayer, R is reading scripture, A is affirmations. So I have, you know, I have goals, I have aspirations. I know where I've been, I know what I've been, and I know what I wanna become. And so affirmations are working on my becoming. Excellent. And then I is for inscribing, and that is, uh, writing- and my gratitude journal. Yeah. So that's a, th- that's a daily event, but it's how I start my day- I love it of writing the things that I'm thankful for. And then S is seeing, which is visualization.

Dr Nat Green 36:24

Okay.

Keith A Cole 36:25

So I've put together a visualization board. And I, I put pictures of things where I see myself in the future or whatever, uh, I want in the future- perhaps.

Dr Nat Green 36:41

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 36:42

And then of course is exercise.

Dr Nat Green 36:45

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 36:45

E is for exercise. And exercise is that- Taking care of the body physically, mentally and so I go to the gym every morning. And I, I work out five days a week.

Dr Nat Green 37:01

Wow.

Keith A Cole 37:02

But also I have scheduled, for the year my checkups with the different medical specialists. And so that trying to get it all-encompassing, And then the Rs for rest that we discussed a little bit ago.

Dr Nat Green 37:19

I like that. Uh- I think, you know, very... All the things together, but in a structured way, that are healthy that we know will really help rebuild and connect you with your identity, who you are now, and help you reintegrate your head brain, your heart brain, and your gut brain. So really looking at bringing it all back together very powerful

Keith A Cole 37:51

It's, uh, it certainly has helped me.

Dr Nat Green 37:54

And I have no doubt that... So the book's out in the world, so you're... Are you, when you say you're talking, are you running programs or anything like that for people?

Keith A Cole 38:06

So, I reach out to to different church organizations and veterans organizations.

Dr Nat Green 38:12

Excellent.

Keith A Cole 38:13

And I... So I, I have different talks, but also I have, uh, I'm working on putting together workshops.

Dr Nat Green 38:24

Excellent.

Keith A Cole 38:25

And, and get, it's one thing to hear people talk, it's another thing to be able to interact and, uh, and try things out yourselves,

Dr Nat Green 38:36

yeah, to integrate that so they can actually practice it and, as we say, practice what we preach rather than just say it. Actually say- Yeah and do so you can be- Yeah who you wanna be. I love that.

Keith A Cole 38:50

Yeah.

Dr Nat Green 38:51

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 38:51

And so the book is a very easy read. That's what I say. I says, uh, like my brother, one of my older brothers said, "Keith, you, uh, you know English well enough you can write a book." I said, "Well, actually my heart wrote the book and the editors did the rest."

Dr Nat Green 39:11

But it's what's in our heart- But the- that matters.

Keith A Cole 39:14

Yeah. Right.

Dr Nat Green 39:16

Oh, definitely.

Keith A Cole 39:18

Yeah. Oh.

Dr Nat Green 39:18

Wow. So Keith, if you could share one thing with our listeners that would help them as they navigate their post-trauma or adversity or burnout, whatever it is, and they move through post-traumatic growth, what would it be?

Keith A Cole 39:34

The very, I think the very most important thing is, not to attempt to take the road by yourself. Don't do it alone. You can reach out. Reach out to a therapist, reach out to, uh, even clergy or friends, family. The key point in reaching out is you reach out to somebody you trust.

Dr Nat Green 39:57

Mm.

Keith A Cole 39:59

Uh, have trust and but please don't do it alone.

Dr Nat Green 40:06

Yeah. I think that's a really, really important message. And often when we've gone through, you know, trauma or burnout, we do tend to isolate, to shut down, to, have all these things going on in our, in our brain, and we're in our head and we think, oh, we're, you know, we're not exciting to be around. People aren't interested. 'Cause we're not in a good place ourselves. And- Yes,

Keith A Cole 40:34

exactly

Dr Nat Green 40:36

so it is. It's, it's about walking, letting someone walk beside us. They don't have to carry us, but they just need to be present. I'm very much... I think that's very important, to allow someone to be present. They don't need to fix it. No one can fix it. It's just about knowing, as you said, that you're not alone.

Keith A Cole 40:59

Which is so important.

Dr Nat Green 41:01

Yeah, agree. So Keith, as we move to wrapping this conversation up, where can our listeners find out more about you and, and find you online or find your book?

Keith A Cole 41:15

Yeah. Of course Amazon, through my website is recoverybyfaith.com. Okay.

Dr Nat Green 41:20

Oh, recoverybyfaith.com. And- And we'll put that in the show notes.

Keith A Cole 41:25

Okay. Thank you. And the, uh... On the, on the website, I have a blog. You can sign up for a newsletter. Uh, you can reach out to me. I'll respond to anybody that reaches out. And The, there's links to where you can get the books and the workbook. So the book itself is a, you know, it's a nine by six, so it's kinda small. So I also, And the workbook's in it, but that's, you know... W- So what I did, I also published a, a workbook that brings you, So you have it, it's eight and a half by 11. So it's much easier to use. And so that's what, you know, I do all the time. I use the workbook. Excellent. And so it's much easier to write in and-

Dr Nat Green 42:19

Mm

Keith A Cole 42:19

keep your notes and things, and to follow through.

Dr Nat Green 42:24

Excellent. Um... Yeah, so I'll put all of that in the show notes. And yes, thank you so much for, for bravely sharing your story. Not just your burnout story, but actually talking about stuff that I know is hard and often not acknowledged as a combat veteran- Well- in Vietnam. So I really am very grateful that you've done that today. Thank you.

Keith A Cole 42:49

I think that, I also would like to just tell the audience that you... People keep everything inside and think that they're strong for doing that.

Dr Nat Green 43:00

Mm.

Keith A Cole 43:00

Mm. Right? And so, it's like, how could I have burnout? I'm too strong for that. I'm too tough.

Dr Nat Green 43:06

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 43:07

Uh, I'm a United States Marine. Come on. And truth of the matter is my surrender to God was not weakness. That was true strength. And if you don't think it's strength, then try talking about it on podcasts which go worldwide.

Dr Nat Green 43:31

Exactly.

Keith A Cole 43:32

And you'll see how much, see how much strength it takes.

Dr Nat Green 43:35

I completely agree.

Keith A Cole 43:38

Yeah. And, uh, it doesn't take strength to suffer, because we all do. But just don't do it alone.

Dr Nat Green 43:49

Yeah. Very wise words there. And I always finish each episode asking my guest, what do you think your younger self would think of what you're doing now and what you've achieved?

Keith A Cole 44:11

Well, I, my younger self would oh, boy. I, I'm not sure if my younger self would be proud or or very critical.

Dr Nat Green 44:23

Oh, okay.

Keith A Cole 44:25

Yeah. So, uh- Huh. I, I would say that, um My younger self in his heart would be proud. Um, I'm able to talk about things today.

Dr Nat Green 44:45

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 44:45

But would probably think, um, How come you're not working harder?"

Dr Nat Green 44:54

Yeah, that work ethic was pretty ingrained. But what about young Keith who's got all the people lined up on the stairs, who's, who's the minister preaching to them? How would he go?

Keith A Cole 45:06

Oh, wow. I, in a way, yeah, it's, that, that's almost a full circle, you know?

Dr Nat Green 45:13

It is. I just wanted to- Yeah point that out, that- Yeah. you beautifully shared that story. And, and I laugh because my daughter would want to be a teacher, and she would have all the toys set up in there and talk about teaching them, and all the naughty ones that were doing things in the class. That's what it reminded me of as you were saying that. Ah. I could see them lined up on the stairs, and I thought-

Keith A Cole 45:37

Yeah.

Dr Nat Green 45:37

you have come full circle, and really you're honoring what that young boy wanted you to do.

Keith A Cole 45:46

I see that.

Dr Nat Green 45:48

Yeah.

Keith A Cole 45:49

Yeah. And and I think that, um, God's recovery plan is what did that.

Dr Nat Green 45:56

Mm-hmm.

Keith A Cole 45:56

It's God's recovery plan that finally gave me peace of mind.

Dr Nat Green 46:02

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. How beautiful. And I think, as you said, regardless of, of what your beliefs were, and you had beliefs, and then they were really tested, and you went the other, other direction, that regardless of what our beliefs are from a spiritual perspective, it's about having that belief that there is something greater than ourselves.

Keith A Cole 46:28

Oh, yes.

Dr Nat Green 46:28

Something outside us. Because as you beautifully said, we cannot do it alone. We're human beings and we need connection, whether that's a connection to God, a connection to whatever it is that our listeners choose to believe in, it makes no difference. It's about having something outside ourselves.

Keith A Cole 46:49

Yes. Excellent.

Dr Nat Green 46:52

And that faith, and ultimately, eventually getting to the place where you can have faith in yourself to get, as you said, that peace of mind again.

Keith A Cole 47:01

Yes.

Dr Nat Green 47:02

Well, thank you so much. I'm so grateful that you've given up part of your scheduled early morning routine- Yeah to speak on our podcast, and I will look forward to the episode dropping, and having people connect with you, and hearing your beautiful story. So thank you, Keith.

Keith A Cole 47:23

Oh, thank you very much, Nat. I really appreciate you so much, so thanks so very much.

Dr Nat Green 47:29

Oh, thank you. Thank you for spending this time with me on Growing Tall Poppies. My hope is that today's episode has offered you something more than insight, that it's helped you feel a little more connected to who you are now, a little more trusting of your body, and a little more permission to stand tall without shrinking or forcing yourself forward. Post-traumatic growth isn't about fixing yourself or returning to who you once were. It's about understanding how you adapted, honoring your nervous system, and gently choosing what no longer needs to come with you. New episodes of Growing Tall Poppies are released weekly. Every Tuesday, and I'd love for you to continue walking this path with us as we explore identity after adversity, integrity, invisibility wounds, nervous system wisdom, and what it truly means to grow forward grounded, aligned, and embodied. If this episode resonated, I invite you to subscribe, follow, share it with someone that you feel might need it, or simply take a quiet moment to reflect on what's ready to move forward for you. You can also find me on Instagram @drnatgreen, on Facebook at Dr. Natalie Green, or over on YouTube at Dr. Nat Green. And remember, you don't need to rush, and you don't need to hide anymore. Stay connected, stay true, and keep standing tall like the tall poppy you are. I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.