When Your Nervous System Finally Exhales

What happens when you finally stop pushing… and your nervous system gets the space to just be?

After making the decision to travel as part of their "celebrating 30 years together" travelling through San Francisco and the breathtaking Canadian Rockies, Dr Nat shares the powerful and unexpected lessons this journey revealed about nervous system regulation, presence, trust, and post-traumatic growth.

From awe-inspiring glaciers and frozen lakes to the surreal experience of driverless cars, this episode explores why so many high-functioning women struggle to truly switch off — and what’s actually happening beneath that constant need to keep moving, producing, and staying “on.”

If you’ve ever felt like you should be able to relax… but can’t fully get there… this conversation will land deeply.

🔥 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

•  Why slowing down can feel uncomfortable (and even unsafe) for high-functioning women 
•  The hidden nervous system patterns behind constant productivity and urgency 
•  How awe and nature support nervous system healing and regulation
•  Why achievement doesn’t create safety (and what actually does) 
•  The connection between trust, control, and trauma patterns
•  How to begin experiencing presence — without forcing it 
•  The subtle difference between “resting” and truly being
•  Why you don’t need to push harder to feel better 

💡 A Powerful Reflection

You don’t have to earn rest.

And you don’t need to keep pushing to prove your worth.

Sometimes healing looks less like doing more work…
 and more like finally feeling safe enough to experience
 presence, connection, joy, and stillness.

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green 0:07

Hello, and welcome back to this week's episode of Growing Tall Poppies. I am super excited. You've noticed the background is very different. I am here in, see that amazing scenery, snow-capped mountains, in Ketchikan, on our way to Alaska on a bucket list trip. So I know for many of you who've been following along on my Instagram and Facebook have been enjoying seeing me and sending me messages. So, today I just wanted to make this episode about what I've been experiencing, and share that with you in the hope that you too can look at how you can integrate this into your lives. So, what I wanted to share is that there really is something that happens when your nervous system finally stops racing for a while, when you finally slow down enough to no longer be hypervigilant, on guard, looking for all the things that could happen. Again, check out the scenery. Amazing, isn't it? Yes, honestly, I don't think I realized just how much I needed this downtime and this bucket list trip, let's be honest, until these past 10 days. We've just finished what honestly has been one of the most incredible trips of our lives. A few nights in San Francisco, and then going to the Canadian Rockies, it was like absolutely nothing I've ever experienced. So, there were glaciers, frozen lakes. We didn't get to see the amazing to-die-for color, bluey green color of Lake Louise, but what we saw and experienced was even more, even better than that. We got to walk on a frozen lake. It was amazing. We got to walk on glaciers, and there were towering mountains, snow-capped, wild rivers. Moments that just genuinely took my breath away. I am so, so grateful. And somewhere amongst all of that magic, something inside me has softened. Not because I was doing the work- You'll notice I've just changed my background. I've just moved inside as people are boarding back on the ship after being at port all day. So, as I was saying, something inside me softened, not because I was doing the work, not because I was pushing towards another goal, and absolutely not because I was trying to optimize or improve myself. But really, for once, maybe once in my life my nervous system finally had space to just be, and pffft, it was magic. Honestly, don't think I've ever experienced it. And I wanted to share a bit more about that, because I want that for you, too. I think I've spent my whole life being busy. As, you know, high-functioning business women, that's what we are expected to do, and that's what we get rewarded for doing. So we just keep pushing and pushing and pushing ourselves, and pushing through. And it's not until you actually get to slow down that you realize how bad it's been for your system. So it did feel completely unfamiliar. And I'm sure there's a lot of you that are just like me, in that you don't realize that you're still rushing internally to get to the next thing, to reach your next goal, to, to just do, do, do. Even while you're resting, your mind keeps going. It doesn't switch off. And that level of hypervigilance, it becomes normal. And I really think that so many high-functioning women live in a state of constant internal urgency without even realizing it. Even when we're resting. I don't know about you, but for me and many other people in my life, we're mentally planning, preparing, thinking ahead, optimizing, managing. And I guess I came to realize on this trip how deeply conditioned I've been to keep moving. Because let's face it, that's what we're, we've always known to be rewarded. To keep doing, keep producing, keep pushing forward. And what surprised me the, the most was how emotional it felt to stop. More so in those first few days- And then when we started moving into Canada and going through the Rockies, there was, there was no way I couldn't start to slow down because the scenery around me was magic. I want you to, you know, imagine, and if you check out my social media pages, you will see lots and lots of amazing pictures and images that I've shared on our adventures, walking on the glaciers, wandering by fast-flowing and slow-moving rivers, taking in all the mountains around me, the frozen lakes. The scale of nature was like nothing I've ever experienced. And what I noticed was something that it's becoming more apparent since the work I've been doing volunteering at the local observatory that I'm at, that awe really does change our entire perspective, and therefore our nervous system. The awe of this breathtaking, life-changing scenery helps move your nervous system and shift it through wonder. It interrupts the rumination, and it reduces the stress. Now, who doesn't want that? It creates perspective and helps us feel connected to something outside ourselves, something larger than ourselves. And honestly, standing in front of those mountains with the snow-capped view all around, 360 degrees, watching the rivers carve through rock that's existed for thousands upon thousands of years, and then walking on the frozen lakes, some of my fears and my worries suddenly felt minuscule, quite small. Not insignificant, just less consuming. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't thinking about where I needed to get to next. I was just there. And I think if we're honest with ourselves, I think many of us have forgotten how to do that. You know, to take it even further, I realized something really profound on this trip. Some of the things we chase the hardest don't actually create the feeling that we think they will. And yet some of the simplest moments, being present, being present to what's around you, grounding your feet in nature, even just on the floor, on the grass. Some of the simplest moments, the presence, the connection, the laughter, the stillness, and that awe, all those things create this fullness that we've been trying to force ourselves into finding all these years. And so many women that I work with, and some men, but particularly the women, have spent years believing,"Oh, if I just push that little bit harder, if I just do that little bit more, if I finally achieve this thing, then I'll feel like I've got there. I'll feel like I've made it. Then I'll feel safe. Then I'll feel fulfilled, and then I can relax." But nervous systems don't work like that, and I know that you guys know that already. Safety isn't found in the achievement, despite what we've been led to believe. It's found in the ability to finally stop bracing, to just relax into it. And for many of you, I know... you did see some of my posts, because I shared something that fascinated me. It scared me, actually. But it fascinated me the most in San Francisco were these autonomous cars. Instead of getting a taxi or an Uber, you can get in these autonomous driverless cars. No driver, no hands on the wheel, and there was no way in a million years I was getting in one. Every part of my nervous system wanted to stay alert, even watching them go past, to monitor, to anticipate, to be prepared. And I realized that is actually how so many of us live our lives. Unable to fully let go, unable to trust, and always scanning for what could go wrong. Yeah, I know you can relate. Because when trust has been broken in the past, control feels safer. As I've been talking in the last few episodes, my little miniseries around trust, control feels safer. But what we know is that healing often involves learning how to loosen our grip little by little. Not recklessly, not blindly, but safely enough to experience life again. And perhaps, if I'm honest, the greatest gift of this trip despite, uh, as well as everything else, was simply us. Being able to be with my amazing husband and celebrate our 30 years of us tour. 30 years together. In the middle of busy lives, work, responsibilities, stress, deadlines, lots of ups and downs, trauma. Managing, you know, all the things that I know that the majority of you also manage. It's so easy to move into the logistics of doing instead of the connection, and this trip reminded me just how important it is to intentionally create the space. For presence, for conversations, for laughter, for walking and wandering slowly, and for sitting together, often in silence, just observing the view and taking in the mountains. Not rushing toward the next thing. Just being where you are. As much as anything, I think this trip reminded me of something we all need to hear sometimes. You do not have to earn your rest. You do not have to constantly push and push and push forward to prove your worth, and your nervous system was never designed to live in permanent survival mode. Sometimes healing looks less like doing more work and more like finally just feeling safe enough to experience the awe, the presence, the connection, the joy, and that stillness again. Maybe not even again, maybe for the first time. So maybe this is your reminder this week to slow down enough to actually notice your life. Because the moments that nourish us the most, they're often the ones we rush past trying to get somewhere else. And I really want that for you. So I want you to take some time this week to look around you and observe where you experience awe. Something bigger than you outside of yourself. Might be having coffee by the beach, walking in the forest. It might be looking up at the sky, seeing the stars, the planets. Whatever it is for you, whatever it is that creates awe or gives you the opportunity to experience the awe, I so want that for you. If this episode resonated with you and you recognize that you've been living in a constant state of pushing, bracing, or that internal urgency, this is exactly the work that I help women understand inside my coaching and breakthrough work. So if you're also wanting to finally say goodbye to that rushing feeling and look at what is keeping you blocked and capping your invisible ceiling, then I'm gonna put the link in the show notes and you can book a clarity call and we can explore. It's free, no obligation. We can explore what may actually be keeping your nervous system stuck in survival mode, even after all the inner work you've already done. So I'd love you to DM me, send me messages. Keep connected. I'm just gonna move around again. Keep connected on social media so that we can really learn how to experience the awe, regulate our nervous systems, and experience life the way we all deserve to. And now, as we bring this episode to a close, I really wanted to touch on the elephant in the room. Because I know that for many of you listening, this idea of slowing down and actually being present isn't always easy. Certainly wasn't for me. And I know that that's in fact the case for many, many high-functioning women. It can feel deeply uncomfortable, even unsafe. Because if your system is used to being on, used to anticipating, used to holding it all together, then stillness can feel very unfamiliar. So I wanted to share a few of the things that actually helped me shift into presence on this trip. Not perfectly, but in a way that my nervous system could actually receive. The first thing I noticed was that I didn't need to force myself to stop, because the moment you try to suddenly stop, your system will resist it. Instead, I just started with noticing. Noticing the air, the sounds, the feel of walking, the scale of what was happening around me, and just gently bringing my attention to what was already there. And what that does is it gives your nervous system something safe to land on. And I also noticed how often I wanted to capture everything, take photos, record it, document it. And while that's beautiful, I realized that sometimes it was pulling me out of the moment. So I started taking the photo and then putting the phone away, letting myself take it all in and actually experience it, because not everything meaningful needs to be turned into something. Another big one was allowing space that wasn't structured. Not filling every moment, which is how we tend to do holidays. Not needing a plan. In fact, I didn't even check my itinerary until the night before the cruise and hadn't done any of the things that were required, and I don't think I've ever done that. Anyway, that was a classic lesson in being in the moment, not needing a plan, just wandering, sitting, pausing. And I'll be honest, at first, of course that felt uncomfortable. There was a part of me that kept thinking,"We should be doing something." And that's when I realized that urge to rush is often just a nervous system pattern, a way of trying to feel in control. And something else that really shifted things for me was letting enough be enough. Just letting it be. Not needing to see everything, do everything, maximize every moment. Just allowing a simple experience to be complete. That was it. It just was. Because not every moment needs to be extraordinary to be meaningful. And finally, I just kept coming back to awe, because awe does something that thinking can't. It quiets the noise. Just again, we're about to leave the port, and I'm just taking in all the scenery. Because awe does something, as I said, that thinking can't. It quiets that noise, it expands perspective, and it brings you back into your body with that felt sense. And whether there's mountains, the ocean, the sky, the forest, the farms, or even just something that makes you pause for a moment, it creates space. And I think what all of this comes back to is this. Slowing down isn't about doing less. It's about finally allowing yourself to experience more. And for many people, that's actually the harder thing. So if you've been feeling like you're constantly pushing, constantly moving, constantly thinking about what's next, then maybe this is your reminder that you don't have to earn rest, and you definitely don't have to prove your worth through productivity. And your nervous system was never designed to live in a constant state of survival. Sometimes healing doesn't look like doing more work. Sometimes it looks like finally feeling safe enough to experience the presence, the connection, the joy, and find stillness again, or maybe even for the first time. And if you're listening to this and thinking,"I don't even know how to access that," or,"Every time I slow down, it feels so uncomfortable," that's exactly the work I do. Because it's not that you don't know how to be present. It's that some part of your nervous system doesn't yet feel safe enough to fully arrive. The good news is that that's something we can shift. So if this resonates, then click on the link in the show notes and jump on a clarity call. We can explore what may actually be keeping you in that constant state of pushing or bracing, even after all the amazing work you've already done. And for now, just see if you can take one moment today. One moment to pause, to notice, even if it's to look at the snow-capped mountains in my background, and to let yourself be exactly where you are. That's it from me. Have a great week, and I'm not sure where I'll bring it to you from next week. Have a great one. Bye for now.