When Trust Is Broken: What It Does To Your Nervous System

When trust is broken, your nervous system doesn’t forget — it adapts.

In this episode, Dr Nat Green explores what really happens when trust is disrupted — not just emotionally, but physiologically.

Because trust isn’t just relational.

It’s something your nervous system experiences as safety.

And when that safety is compromised, your system adapts in ways you may not even realise.

You may find yourself more “on,” more controlling, more self-reliant… without understanding why.

🌿 In this episode, you’ll learn:

•  Why trust is not just emotional — it’s neurological and physiological
•  How your system registers “this isn’t safe”
•  The subtle signs of nervous system activation after broken trust 
•  Why you may start overthinking, controlling, and holding more
•  The difference between:
   👉 “I need to trust more”
   👉 vs “My system doesn’t feel safe yet” 
•  How to begin restoring safety without forcing change 

🔥 Key Insight:

It’s not that you don’t trust.

It’s that your system doesn’t feel safe to.

🧠 Notice this:

•  Are you more “on” than usual? 
•  Are you holding more responsibility? 
•  Are you finding it harder to switch off? 

Your system may be responding to a perceived loss of safety.

🌿 Gentle ways to support your system:

•  Slow your breath 
•  Soften your body 
•  Let something be unfinished 
•  Reduce the need to control everything 

🔗 Go deeper:

Take the Archetypes of Transformation quiz
👉here 

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green 0:04

Welcome to Growing Tall Poppies, thrive After Trauma. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I am so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through trauma. Or significant challenges and not just survive, but to thrive after it. This is a space for people who've been through trauma or adversity, have done some healing, and know they're meant for more than just coping. This podcast is about post-traumatic growth, not getting back to who you used to be. Rather, understanding who you are now and learning how to stand tall without shrinking, forcing, or abandoning yourself. Here we explore identity after adversity, integrity and visibility wounds, nervous system wisdom. And what it really takes to move forward. In a way that feels aligned, embodied, and true, you'll hear a blend of deep solo conversations and powerful guest interviews with people who have lived this work, not just studied it, because growth doesn't come from pushing harder. It comes from understanding how you adapted. Honoring your nervous system and gently updating the old agreements that no longer fit the life you are ready to live. If you're ready to stop hiding, stop performing, and start owning who you are becoming, then you are in the right place. Let's grow tall together. Hello, and welcome back to this week's episode of Growing Tall Poppies. I'm so grateful that you've decided to join me today, and there's something I wanted to focus on and chat about today. Something that I think is often misunderstood, and that's what actually happens in your nervous system when your trust is broken, not just emotionally but physiologically, because we tend to think of trust as something relational, something between you and another person. You and a system. But trust is also something that your nervous system experiences, and when that's disrupted, it doesn't just stay in the situation, it stays within you. So that's one I really wanna focus on today. As you know, I've been talking a little bit lately around systems, systemic breaches of trust when systems have let you down, and I just wanted to share what's happened to me in the last week or two and reflect it. Alongside how it might be showing up in many of you others who are also really high functioning, highly capable, amazing people. So there's moments in life where you expect something to be handled in a certain way. You expect to be heard, you expect to be considered, and you expect to be supported. And when that doesn't happen, it lands really, really hard. Not always loudly, but absolutely, always deeply because your system isn't just registering what happened. It's registering. This wasn't safe in the way that I thought it would be. That creates a real shift. Sometimes subtle and sometimes more obvious, but a shift, a significant shift nonetheless, and this is a part that often gets missed because it doesn't always show up as distress. It can show up as so many different things. You might be feeling more on than usual. You just can't switch it off. Thinking more than usual. In fact, probably overthinking and overthinking, overanalyzing, holding more than usual, taking on more feeling like there's that over responsibility, and ultimately finding it harder to switch off. You might notice that you're double checking things. Second, guessing yourself, not really sure you're overthinking your decisions or you're holding tighter to control over things. You're less willing to delegate or to let go if you can recognize any of those things in yourself right now. I just want you to stop and just reflect. Take a minute so it can feel like, why am I like this right now? But the reality is that your system knows it's responding to a perceived loss of safety. Because as we know, the body always keeps the score. So what does your system do? It adapts. It starts to take on more, manage more control, more, rely on yourself more. You get the gist, and I'm sure so many of you know exactly what I'm talking about, not because you want to. But because your system is trying so hard to restore safety in the only way it knows how, it's trying to make sure that this doesn't happen again. So you become even more self-reliant, more aware, more responsible, and over time, more exhausted. And this is something that has been very present for me recently, and I know for a lot of other people in my world, because you've been DMing me, sending me messages, emails, and telling me, oh my goodness. It's good to know that I'm not alone own. So as we reflect on this. To think about it, not just in external situations, but internally as well. I've had moments, for example, where I've noticed myself holding more, even more than I usually do, being more on on guard, a bit hypervigilant, more aware, and more in control. And at the same time, I've also been doing some deeper work. Where I've realized that there are still layers of trust that I'm working through even after all the work that I've done. And that's a really important reminder that these patterns really don't just disappear. They reveal themselves. And the funny thing is they reveal themselves at the level that you are ready to work with them at. You won't see them until you are ready to move to that next level or that next layer. So that's the piece that I really want you to hear. It's not that you don't trust, it's that your system doesn't feel safe enough to, and that's a really different thing because if you approach this as, I just need to trust more. Testing people out with small little incremental bits. Testing yourself out in small little ways, you'll end up pushing against something and you'll resist it even more because you're pushing against something that's actually trying to protect you. But if you understand it as my system doesn't feel safe yet. Then the work changes. It becomes about creating safety, building capacity, and allowing your system to soften just a little bit at a time. And here's where this ties into growth, because as. You expand as you step into something bigger, your system will naturally look for. Is this safe? And if there are any unresolved patterns at all, they will most definitely bubble to the surface. Not to stop you, but to be integrated. And this is why it can feel like, I thought I'd already worked through this. But what's actually happening is that you are meeting it at a deeper level. So what do you wanna do with this? Not by forcing yourself to trust, as I said, but by starting here. Let's start with noticing where you are holding more than usual. You are holding onto something or you are overdoing. Notice where you feel more on and notice where your control has increased and instead of judging it, get curious. Just get curious, ask, what is my system trying to protect me from right now? Then gently introduce safety. That might look like slowing your breath down, softening your body, letting something be incomplete, and allowing yourself not to hold everything. These are small but important moments that tell your system. You don't have to stay braced because the truth is when trust is broken, your system adapts not to hold you back, but to protect you. And when you understand that. You can start to work with it instead of against it, and that is where real change begins. Thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode of Growing Tall Poppies. If you are struggling with anything that I talked about today and you're feeling like, Hmm, I can relate, not really sure. What to do next? Then connect with me. Send me a DM because I'd love to talk more and help you maybe navigate your way through that'cause I want you to keep standing tall like the tall poppy that you were always destined to be. And keep shining your light brightly because the world needs you just as you are. Have a great week. Bye for now. Thank you for spending this time with me on growing tall poppies. My hope is that today's episode has offered you something more than insight, that it's helped you feel a little more connected to who you are now, a little more trusting of your body, and a little more permission to stand tall without shrinking or forcing yourself forward. Post-traumatic growth isn't about fixing yourself or returning to who you once were. It's about understanding how you adapted, honoring your nervous system, and gently choosing what no longer needs to come with you. New episodes of growing Tall poppies are released weekly. Every Tuesday, and I'd love for you to continue walking this path with us as we explore identity after adversity, integrity and visibility wounds, nervous system wisdom. And what it truly means to grow forward, grounded, aligned, and embodied. If this episode resonated, I invite you to subscribe, follow, share it with someone that you feel might need it, or simply take a quiet moment to reflect on what's ready to move forward. For you. You can also find me on Instagram at Dr. Nat Green on Facebook at Dr. Natalie Green or over on YouTube at Dr. Nat Green. And remember, you don't need to rush and you don't need to hide anymore. Stay connected, stay true, and keep standing tall like the tall poppy you are. I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.