Standing Tall After Trauma: Identity, Integrity & Nervous System Healing

In this opening episode, for 2026 Dr Nat Green invites you to pause — before pushing forward — and reflect on who you are now, after everything you’ve lived through.

As we close the Year of the Snake and step into the momentum of the Year of the Fire Horse, this episode explores what it really means to stand tall after trauma, adversity, or major life disruption — without shrinking, forcing, or abandoning yourself.

This conversation goes beyond “getting back to who you used to be” and into the deeper work of identity, integrity, and nervous system integration — the often-missing pieces in post-traumatic growth.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why you don’t go back to who you were after trauma — and why that’s not a problem
• What identity wounds are and how they form through survival and adaptation
• The often-overlooked impact of integrity wounds — when staying safe meant overriding yourself
• A powerful real-life case example showing how early experiences shape what feels safe, possible, and allowed
• How the nervous system remembers moments when it wasn’t safe to be seen, heard, or fully yourself
• Why insight alone doesn’t always lead to change — and why the body must be included
• How old “agreements” formed in childhood or adversity can quietly limit visibility and growth
• Gentle, practical strategies to begin restoring identity, integrity, and nervous system safety

This episode is for you if:

• You’ve done a lot of healing but still feel held back or misaligned
• You feel ready for growth but notice your body pulling you back when you become more visible
• You struggle with the idea of “going back to who you were”
• You want to understand why standing tall can feel unsafe — even when you’re capable and confident
• You’re ready to move forward in a way that honours your nervous system, not overrides it

A powerful reframe explored in this episode:

You are not stuck in the past —
you may be organised around it.

And growth doesn’t always require pushing harder.
Sometimes it asks us to gently update agreements that no longer fit the life we’re living now.

As we begin 2026 together, I’ll leave you with this reflection:

Who am I now — really — and what is ready to move forward with me this year?

This episode sets the foundation for a new season of Growing Tall Poppies, featuring solo episodes and guest conversations exploring identity after trauma, archetypes, nervous system wisdom, visibility, and standing tall without apology.

If this episode resonated, be sure to subscribe, follow and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

You don’t need to rush.
AND you don’t need to hide anymore. 🌾

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Speaker 7: 0:04

Welcome to Growing Tall Poppies, thrive After Trauma. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I am so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through trauma. Or significant challenges and not just survive, but to thrive after it. This is a space for people who've been through trauma or adversity, have done some healing, and know they're meant for more than just coping. This podcast is about post-traumatic growth, not getting back to who you used to be. Rather, understanding who you are now and learning how to stand tall without shrinking, forcing, or abandoning yourself. Here we explore identity after adversity, integrity and visibility wounds, nervous system wisdom. And what it really takes to move forward. In a way that feels aligned, embodied, and true, you'll hear a blend of deep solo conversations and powerful guest interviews with people who have lived this work, not just studied it, because growth doesn't come from pushing harder. It comes from understanding how you adapted. Honoring your nervous system and gently updating the old agreements that no longer fit the life you are ready to live. If you're ready to stop hiding, stop performing, and start owning who you are becoming, then you are in the right place. Let's grow tall together.

Dr Nat Green: 1:55

Hello, beautiful tall poppies. Welcome back and welcome into 2026. I hope you manage to take a bit of time off and get to enjoy your holiday period. I am really glad you are here. If this is your first time listening. Then welcome. I am so glad you found your way here, and if you've been part of this community and walking alongside me for a while now. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to show up, not just for this podcast, but for yourself. Thank you so much for being part of this community that refuses to shrink, hide, or apologize for growth. So as we step into this new year, I wanted to start by pausing just for a moment to acknowledge what we've just moved through. I wanted to begin this year by slowing us down for a moment. Before we ask more of ourselves, before we push forward, before we ramp things up, and certainly before we get back on that old hamster wheel, because what we've just moved through matters 2025, as you know, carried the energy of the year of the snake. A year of shedding, of endings and of identity shifts of identity, softening, dissolving, and I know in some cases falling away completely. For many of us, it wasn't comfortable, but it truly was necessary for many people this past year, quietly asked. Who am I without that role? Who am I when that chapter ends? And who am I when the coping strategies no longer fit? And I know that that can feel really unsettling because when identities soften or fall away, we can feel ungrounded. Even if we've done a lot of the healing work already. So if you are entering this year feeling clearer in some ways, but also a little raw or uncertain, you're not behind, you've no doubt been integrating. So now we're stepping into the year of the fire horse. Officially not until the 17th of February, but as we step into the year of the fire horse, this energy is different. The fire horse doesn't whisper. It moves. It runs. The fire horse is about momentum. Visibility purpose, forward movement, and living in alignment with truth. And this is important. Fire horse energy doesn't mean forcing. It means moving forward from who you truly are Now. And that's exactly where this podcast is heading in 2026, and I'm so excited that you're here with me and coming along for the ride. Growing Tall Poppies has always been about post-traumatic growth, not just surviving adversity, but growing because of it. And as we move forward. I wanna be really clear about what we're exploring here together. This is not about getting back to who you used to be, fixing yourself or shrinking your truth to fit other people's comfort because once you've lived through trauma, adversity, or profound challenge, you don't go back. You can't go back. You become, and the real work is learning to understand who you are now, who you are after, what you've lived through, who you are beneath the coping strategies, who you are beneath the masks. Who you are when you stop apologizing for standing out, that is the absolute essence of being a tall poppy. So moving forward, this podcast will be a blend of deep solo episodes and powerful guest conversations. We'll be going deeper into understanding your identity after trauma or adversity. Exploring the archetypes, the patterns, the strengths, and the survival strategies that shape how you show up. We'll be naming and working with your shadow side rather than fighting it or judging it, and we'll be understanding how integrity wounds and identity wounds keep us playing small. And learning how to stand tall, visible, and proud of who we are all becoming. Because your shadow isn't something to eliminate. It's something to integrate. And when we understand our patterns and we stop trying to outrun them, they become sources of wisdom, of power, and of clarity. And there'll be guest conversations with people who have lived this and done the work, not just studied it. The thread that I feel connects it all is this. We are learning to stand tall and visible without shrinking, without apologizing, and without abandoning yourself. And that is what it really means to be a tall poppy. One of the biggest misunderstandings that I see and hear from clients all the time is the idea of getting back to who I used to be, and I wanna gently challenge that. Because once you've lived through trauma, adversity, loss, or major life disruption, you don't go back. You become someone new. That doesn't mean broken. It doesn't mean damaged. It means shaped. And identity work is about understanding our identity now, who you became to survive, who you learned to be, to stay safe. Who you are ready to consciously choose to be moving forward, not from pressure, but from clarity. I want to Talk now about identity wounds and what I mean by that. So an identity wound often forms when you had to become someone you weren't in order to cope. You learn that certain parts of you were too much or not welcome or your sense of self became defined by what happened to you, and you might notice identity wounds showing up as feeling unsure of who you really are. Over identifying with roles such as the helper, the high achiever, the strong one. You know what I'm talking about? I know. Struggling to name what you want or feeling like you are performing life rather than living it. Identity wounds don't mean that anything went wrong. They mean that your system adapted. It did what it needed to do, and then I wanna look. Integrity wounds, they're often overlooked. Integrity wounds are slightly different though just as powerful An integrity wound forms when over time you learn to override yourself to stay safe, loved or accepted. So this can look like saying yes when every part of your body says no. Staying quiet when something really matters to you, minimizing your own needs or dimming your truth to avoid conflict or rejection, I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about and eventually this creates an inner misalignment. And people often say, I'm regulated. I've healed a lot of stuff. I've done so much work, but something still feels off and I can't quite put my finger on it. And that off feeling is often integrity, asking to be restored. So I wanna bring this to life with a story. Because this is often where people can suddenly recognize themselves. Not all our limits are chosen. Some are learned early and carried quietly. So let me share a story. I once worked with a client, and I'll call her C. She carried a memory from when she was just four years old. A neighbor publicly shamed her, accusing her of knocking down a robin's nest and destroying the eggs. She remembers the shock, the humiliation, the devastation. Of being blamed for something she hadn't done at just four years old. Another child later came forward and admitted it was them, but by then something had already settled in C'S system. Not a story she consciously replayed, not a belief. She deliberately chose. An Agreement, don't stand out, don't draw attention. And it's safer to stay small than to be wrongly seen. And here's the important part. C didn't live her life thinking about that moment. She grew up capable, intelligent, deeply caring. She had confidence, skills, insight, and yet decades later, something kept pulling her back just as she became more visible in her work and in her life, not because she wasn't ready, not because she lacked belief in herself, but because her nervous system remembered what visibility once cost her. And this is how so many of us live, not trapped in the past, but organized around it. At four years old, sometimes even earlier. Many of us learned who it was safe to be, and we've been living inside that agreement ever since. That moment didn't define C, but until it was integrated, it quietly shaped what felt safe, what felt risky, and what felt allowed. And this is what I mean when I talk about identity wounds C didn't decide to become someone who stayed small. Her system learned. Being seen can be dangerous. And this is also an integrity wound because every time she wanted to step forward, share her voice, take up space, her body pulled her back. Not to sabotage her, but to protect her growth doesn't always require pushing forward sometimes. It asks us to gently update an agreement that no longer fits the life we're living now. You didn't imagine what you learned and you are certainly not weak for still carrying it, but you are allowed to renegotiate it. And I want you to pause for a moment here. Because many of you listening will recognize some version of this in your own life. Maybe it wasn't a public accusation. Maybe it was being told you were too much being ignored when you spoke up being rewarded for staying quiet. Or learning that safety came from pleasing, performing, or disappearing. These moments don't mean anything went wrong. They mean your system adapted. And until those adaptations are acknowledged, not judged, not forced away, just acknowledged. They continue to shape how visible, confident, and expansive life feels right now. And this is why identity work must include the nervous system because insight alone doesn't dissolve an agreement that was made in the body. And this is where the nervous system becomes essential. We can't talk about growth without talking about the nervous system. Because Identity and integrity wounds don't just live in our thoughts, they live in our bodies. Your nervous system remembers when it wasn't safe to speak, when it wasn't safe to be seen, and when it wasn't safe to fully be you. So even when the mind understands, the body may still hold hesitation, tension, or restraint. And until we can gently address where the nervous system is stuck forward, movement can feel really hard, even when you're motivated and capable. So many people know what they want. They've done the therapy, they've gained insight, they've processed the story, and yet they still feel stuck. And often that's because the body hasn't caught up with the mind. Unprocessed, stress, shock, grief, shame and survival responses don't just live in our thoughts, they live in our nervous systems. Until we acknowledge what has happened, understand how it shaped who we became. And gently release where the body is still holding on. We can feel held back even when everything looks fine on the outside. So this year we'll be talking openly about where the nervous system gets stuck, how identity and integrity wounds show up in our body, and how releasing those held patterns. Can free us to move forward with clarity, confidence, and drive. Because regulation isn't about calming down, it's about creating capacity for the life you actually want. So let's just look at a few practical strategies I want to offer you a few simple grounded practices that you can start using right now. Firstly, let's look at identity reflection. Ask yourself, who did I become in order to survive, which parts of me were rewarded and which parts. learned to stay hidden. There's no judgment here. Just curiosity. Second, let's do an integrity check-in. I want you to notice moments where your body tightens pulls back or feels really heavy. I want you to ask yourself. What am I overriding right now? What truth is asking for space?'cause we know that integrity often whispers before it shouts. And thirdly, let's look at some nervous system awareness instead of asking why am I stuck? Try asking where does my body feel held or braced right now, and what might it be protecting me from?'cause this shifts you out of self blame and into compassion. And fourthly, let's look at small acts of alignment. Restoring integrity and identity doesn't require big dramatic changes. It starts with small moments of saying no, when you mean no. Letting yourself be seen a little more. Choosing rest without the justification or honoring your pace as this involves truly listening to your body. And these moments rebuild trust within ourselves. So here's to standing tall. Being the tall poppy that I know that you are in 2026 and beyond, the fire horse doesn't move because it should, it moves. Because it knows the fire horse doesn't ask for permission and neither should you. This year is not about becoming louder. It's about becoming truer to yourself, owning your uniqueness, being visible without overexplaining standing tall and proud of who you are, not despite your past. But because of it, truly owning who you are, not despite what you've lived through, but because of the wisdom that it's given you, and stepping into purpose with grounded momentum. You don't need to rush, but you also don't need to hide anymore. It's time. So I'll leave you with this question as we begin the year together. Who am I now really? And what is ready to move forward with me this year? Not who you were, not who you think you should be, but who you are becoming. This is the work we'll be doing together this year, and I am so glad and so grateful that you are here and walking this path with me. Take care. Keep standing tall and shining brightly like the tall poppy that you were always destined to be bye for now. Thank you for spending this time with me on growing tall poppies. My hope is that today's episode has offered you something more than insight, that it's helped you feel a little more connected to who you are now, a little more trusting of your body, and a little more permission to stand tall without shrinking or forcing yourself forward. Post-traumatic growth isn't about fixing yourself or returning to who you once were. It's about understanding how you adapted, honoring your nervous system, and gently choosing what no longer needs to come with you. New episodes of growing Tall poppies are released weekly. Every Tuesday, and I'd love for you to continue walking this path with us as we explore identity after adversity, integrity and visibility wounds, nervous system wisdom. And what it truly means to grow forward, grounded, aligned, and embodied. If this episode resonated, I invite you to subscribe, follow, share it with someone that you feel might need it, or simply take a quiet moment to reflect on what's ready to move forward. For you. You can also find me on Instagram at Dr. Nat Green on Facebook at Dr. Natalie Green or over on YouTube at Dr. Nat Green. And remember, you don't need to rush and you don't need to hide anymore. Stay connected, stay true, and keep standing tall like the tall poppy you are. I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.