A Line in the Sand: Identity Grief & Stepping Into Who You’re Becoming

Today’s episode marks a deeply meaningful transition.

In this personal and reflective solo episode, Dr Nat Green shares why she has chosen not to re-register as a Clinical Psychologist after 35 years in the profession — and why, instead of feeling heavy or sorrowful, this decision feels grounded, aligned, and freeing.

This is not a rejection of psychology.
 It’s the completion of an identity — and the conscious integration of lived experience, professional wisdom, and post-traumatic growth into a new chapter of work.

In this episode, Dr Nat explores what it means to:

• honour an identity that has completed without bitterness or rebellion
• navigate identity grief — the quiet, often unnamed grief that can accompany growth
• step into a new version of yourself with integrity, nervous system safety, and self-trust

This conversation is especially for you if:

• you feel like you’ve outgrown a role, title, or version of yourself
• you’re on the edge of a transition and unsure how to let go with clarity
• you’ve done a lot of inner work but sense there’s another chapter calling
• you want reassurance that growth doesn’t have to come through collapse

✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why identity completion is not failure — but maturity
• How identity grief shows up (even when a decision feels right)
• The difference between burnout, rebellion, and true alignment
• Why nervous system regulation matters more than rushing to redefine yourself
• Three grounded strategies to support yourself through an identity shift
• How ethical, embodied transformation can exist beyond traditional systems

🧭 Three Grounded Identity Transition Practices Shared:

1. Honour the identity you are completing — recognise what it gave you before moving on
2. Allow identity grief without pathologising it — grief means it mattered
3. Regulate before you redefine — somatic clarity precedes identity clarity

💬 A Reflection to Sit With:

What identity is completing for you right now?
 And what would it look like to honour it — instead of forcing yourself to outgrow it faster than your system is ready for?

📝 Important Note

This episode is shared for reflection, education, and personal growth.
 It is not therapy and does not replace professional mental health care.
 If you are experiencing distress or need additional support, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.

🌱 About Dr Nat Green

Dr Nat Green is a former Clinical Psychologist of 35 years, now a trauma-informed transformational coach, speaker, author, and host of Growing Tall Poppies. Her work sits at the intersection of identity, nervous system regulation, post-traumatic growth, and integrated leadership, supporting people who are ready to move beyond survival and truly thrive.

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Speaker 3: 0:01

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post-traumatic growth and not just survive, but to thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self-awareness, and a deep inner peace. Through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand. We'll combine psychology accelerated approaches. Coaching and personal experience to assist you, to learn, to grow and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves. In order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode.

Speaker: 1:24

Hello and welcome back to Growing Tall Poppies, thrive After Trauma. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I am so glad that you've joined me today. This episode is a deeply personal one. And it feels somewhat different to record with some mixed emotions of both tenderness and excitement. Today marks a significant transition point in my life and in my work. As I record this. Today is my final day as a registered clinical psychologist. That's not something I ever imagined saying, and it's certainly not a decision that I've made lightly. I really thought this day would feel challenging, heavy, emotional, but what surprised me most is how comfortable I actually feel with this decision. I've spent 35 years in this profession. 35 years of learning practice, deepest of human connections, considerable responsibility, and undoubtedly a huge privilege. And while I expected this moment to feel heavy or emotional, what I actually feel is something quieter, a deep sense of rightness. Before I say anything else, I wanna say this clearly and with integrity, I have enormous respect for psychology, evidence-based practice, for ethical frameworks, and for the clinicians doing extraordinary work every single day. This decision that I'm making is not about rejecting the field, it's about recognizing that a chapter of my own identity. Has now completed, it feels like a line in the sand moment, the end of an era. Yes, but also the beginning of something genuinely exciting. It feels like closing one door and opening up many more opportunities that simply would not have been possible had I continued with my registration. I actually feel excited, really keen to keep moving forward in the direction that I'm going because what this decision gives me is the ability to show up fully as me, authentically, and to share my story in the hope that. It can make a difference to other people as well, and show you that you're not alone. My story is a huge part of who I am and how I've come to do this current work in the first place. I will always be thankful. Always grateful for the clients I've worked with, for the career that I've had for the colleagues and the opportunities that psychology has given me, and it's time, time to move forward. It feels to me like the next true step forward, like the natural evolution of who I've become, not just professionally, but personally. And if you've been listening in the last couple of months, you know that there was a big turning point for me whilst in Europe as I shed more layers and continued to step fully into post-traumatic growth. And this also really fueled the decision that I've made today. That's what I wanna talk to you about today, what it means to honor completion, to let an identity finish with gratitude and to step forward without bitterness rebellion, or burn the bridge energy.'cause I don't believe growth always looks loud. Sometimes it looks grounded. Sometimes it looks quiet and sometimes it simply looks honest. Over the years, I've had the honor of working with thousands of clients, people who've trusted me with their stories, their pain, their nervous systems, their survival, and their hope. And I genuinely hope, and I believe that I made a difference to many of them. Psychology has taught me how to listen deeply, how to hold complexity without rushing to fix, how to value safety, consent, and containment. Those lessons will never leave me, and they absolutely inform how I work now. So I wanna be very clear. Nothing I do moving forward erases or discredits those years'cause they've built me. And what I've come to realize is this, I can't fully move forward into my next chapter while keeping one foot anchored in an identity that for me has already completed. To step forward. Something had to be closed. Not rejected, not dismissed, but respectfully completed. And as soon as I allowed myself to really name that what I felt wasn't grief or fear, it was freedom. Freedom to write the next chapter of my life without filtering myself through a role that no longer fully fits. And truthfully, there came a point where I could no longer unsee what my clients were capable of. I watched people move beyond survival, beyond symptom reduction, beyond simply managing. I saw identity shift leadership emerge, and capacity expand. And I also noticed something else. In them and in myself that the systems and the structures that I was operating within could no longer hold the full depth or speed of the transformation that was possible. For me personally. This was compounded by my own lived experience, trauma burnout. Undoubtedly post-traumatic growth, not theory, not textbooks. Lived embodied transformation. And when you go through that kind of identity recalibration, you don't come back the same. At some point, continuing to practice in the same way began to feel like compression, not alignment. And I wanna be very clear here. This isn't about turning my back on psychology. It's not about rejecting evidence, ethics, or responsibility. It's about acknowledging that the approach I now work from the accelerated, deeply embodied transformation that I've seen again and again and again with coaching clients, with my A BS method is not always welcomed or easily held within traditional systems. And once you've seen what's possible, once you've witnessed growth, healing and identity shifts happen faster with more integration and with more agency, you can't unsee that. I certainly couldn't. Now, I wanna pause here because this matters. Stepping away from registration does not mean abandoning ethics. It does not mean abandoning responsibility, and it does not mean pretending that trauma is simple or that everyone is ready for accelerated work. What it means is this, I'm choosing to work within a different scope with people who are not in acute psychological crisis, who have already done significant work, who are ready to integrate, to lead, and to grow. I'll always refer out when clinical support is needed. I'll always work within my competencies and I'll always prioritize nervous system safety, autonomy and choice. Integrity is not created by a title alone. It's created by self-awareness boundaries and ethical decision making. And this step allows me to deliver the work that I strongly believe in without feeling constrained to minimize what I know is possible. So what I'm really marking today is not a resignation. It's an integration. I'm not walking away from who I was. I'm including her. The psychologist, the trauma trained clinician, the researcher, the thinker, the breakthrough coach, and also the woman who has lived through trauma, burnout, loss recalibration, and significant growth. The woman who understands identity from the inside out, the woman who knows that healing is often just the doorway, not the destination. This is where my work now lives. At the intersection of identity, nervous system regulation, and conscious expansion, helping people move from surviving who they became as a result of what they've been through to choosing who they wanna be next so they can truly thrive. So yes, I'm now fully stepping into transformational coaching. Fully embracing this identity, serving the people I know are out there, people ready to do profound, meaningful integrative work. People who've already survived, already healed in many ways, and now want to thrive, expand, and live more authentically. And this step. Allows me to do the work that I feel that I was born to do, to make the difference that I've always wanted to make in the world, to do so from a place of integrity, alignment, and deep respect for each person's journey. So let me reassure you, if you are listening to this and feeling something stir. A sense that maybe you are outgrowing an identity, a role, a version of yourself. I want you to hear this part clearly. You too may be standing on the edge of an identity shift of your own, not because something is wrong, but because who you are becoming now doesn't quite fit the role that got you this far. You are allowed to complete chapters with gratitude. You do not need a breakdown to justify a breakthrough, and growth doesn't require burning your past to the ground. Sometimes the most powerful transformation is simply saying, this has served me and now I'm ready for what comes next. And that moment often comes with something we rarely name, identity, grief. This is the part that I think we don't talk about enough. Identity grief isn't about regret, it's about relational loss. It's about letting go of who you've been known as. What once gave you safety or structure, the version of you who coped, achieved, adapted, survived, or succeeded. Even when the new chapter feels right, grief can still be present. You can feel relief and sadness, excitement and fear and hesitation. Freedom, clarity and tenderness. That doesn't mean you're conflicted. It means you're human. It means that what you are completing mattered. And I've undoubtedly gone through that identity grief process from making the decision, feeling unsettled for quite some time to knowing that. This is exactly what needed to happen for me. So just wanted to share re-grounded strategies for navigating an identity shift. So number one, honor the identity that you are completing. Most people try to move on without acknowledging what's ending. So instead, try this. Ask yourself three questions. What did this identity give me? What strengths did I develop because of it, and who did I become through it? You don't need a ceremony. But you do need recognition and completion creates stability. Avoidance creates fragmentation. So it's really important that you honor the identity that you are completing. And number two, allow your identity grief without making it a problem. Here's something important. Grief does not mean that you're going backward or that you've made the wrong decision. If emotion surfaces, and I can assure you that it will let it move through the body without needing a story or a solution, notice it without trying to resolve it and remind yourself this is a transition, not a collapse. And a helpful reframe can be that grief is not a sign that you made the wrong choice. It's a sign that this chapter was significant to you and what you are leaving mattered. And thirdly, let's look at regulating before you redefine one of the biggest mistakes people make. It's trying to think their way into a new identity. Identity isn't created cognitively. It's stabilized somatically. It happens within our nervous system. So before committing to labels, titles, or public declarations, ask, does my body feel settled when I imagine this next step? Can I breathe more fully here? Do I feel more spacious or contracted? Nervous system safety precedes identity clarity. If the next step feels more spacious, more grounding, more honest, in your nervous system, that is information worth trusting. So let this be your gentle permission slip. If you're listening and feeling uncertain in between or not ready to fully claim what's next, then please hear this. You don't have to arrive before you're allowed to leave. You're allowed to transition slowly. You're allowed to experiment. You're allowed to integrate. I certainly did. I've been in this in-between place for at least the past year, but I know now that it's time. So identity shifts don't need urgency, but they do need honesty. Let me just return to my own reflection. For me, this decision didn't come from burnout alone. Or from trauma. It didn't come from frustration or rebellion. It came from alignment from knowing that to truly show up, to truly serve and to truly be authentic, I needed to allow one identity to complete so the next could emerge fully. From knowing that I can now serve from a place that integrates professional wisdom, lived experience, ethical responsibility, and the capacity for accelerated, embodied transformation, I'm not leaving behind who I was. I am carrying her forward included, and today for me. That honestly looks like freedom. So I'll leave you with this reflection. What identity is completing for you right now and what would it look like to honor it instead of forcing yourself to outgrow it faster than your system is ready for? Completion is not the end of contribution. Often, it's actually the beginning of your most authentic chapter. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me. Thank you truly for being part of this journey. Thank you for listening, for Walking alongside me and for allowing me to share this moment with you. I so deeply appreciate you all and I will always be grateful for my. 35 years as a psychologist, and I'm equally committed to what comes next to work that is aligned to transformation, that is embodied to leadership, that is integrated and to helping you and others step into their next chapter with clarity instead of fear. Thank you so much for walking alongside me in this season and in what's unfolding next. I'm so excited for what comes next for me and more importantly for you. So until next time, keep growing tall and keep shining brightly. Bye for now.

Speaker 2: 21:39

Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post-traumatic growth, so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions. And regulate your nervous system so you can fully thrive. New episodes are published every Tuesday, and I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post-traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates, then I invite you to hit subscribe and it would mean the world to us. If you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit too, you may also find me on Instagram at Growing Tall Poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons and to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected. Stay inspired. Stand tall like the tall poppy you are, and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for.