The Courage to Be Seen: How to Lead Without the Mask After Trauma

Even after healing, many of us still feel the pull to hide — to stay small, quiet, or polished. In this episode, Dr Nat Green explores the fear behind visibility and how Tall Poppy Syndrome keeps so many purpose-driven professionals from standing in their true power.

Full Show Notes:
In this heartfelt solo episode of Growing Tall Poppies: Thrive After Trauma, Dr Nat Green opens up about the moment she realised she was still hiding — sitting at her desk, coffee in hand, ready to share something real… and suddenly feeling her chest tighten.

That tiny hesitation revealed something big: even after deep healing, visibility can still feel unsafe. Why? Because our nervous system remembers what our culture reinforces — and Tall Poppy Syndrome whispers that it’s safer to blend in than to shine.

In this powerful conversation, Nat explores how trauma, nervous-system conditioning, and societal messages combine to keep even the most self-aware leaders playing small. She shares what happens when we lead from the mask, why “performing strength” isn’t true resilience, and how authentic visibility and Integrated Leadership becomes the next step in post-traumatic growth.

You’ll learn:
 🌿 The moment Nat recognised she was still protecting herself from being fully seen
 💜 How trauma and Tall Poppy Syndrome intertwine to silence authenticity
 🔥 The difference between being trauma-informed and trauma-integrated
 ✨ Three practical tools to feel safe being seen — without oversharing or burnout
 🌺 Why your presence, not your perfection, is what transforms others

Whether you’re a coach, therapist, practitioner, or purpose-driven leader, this episode is your reminder that courage isn’t about being fearless — it’s about showing up authentically, even when your body still wants to hide.

🎧 Tune in and rediscover the strength in being seen.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction: Why visibility still feels scary
03:45 – The “coffee at my desk” moment of truth
08:20 – Trauma, nervous systems & Tall Poppy Syndrome
13:00 – The cost of the mask
17:10 – What it means to lead without the mask
21:00 – Practical tools for safe visibility
24:00 – Closing reflections: The ripple effect of authentic leadership

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green: 0:01

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post-traumatic growth and not just survive, but to thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self-awareness, and a deep inner peace. Through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand. We'll combine psychology accelerated approaches. Coaching and personal experience to assist you, to learn, to grow and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves. In order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. Hi, beautiful people and welcome back to Growing Tall Poppies, thrive After Trauma. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and today we're gonna be talking about something that still stretches me, if I'm honest even now. And this episode comes. As you've come to expect straight from my heart, it's not about frameworks, another tool or theory or strategy. It's about visibility, about what it really means to show up fully, truthfully, and without the mask. I'm seeing a lot about this online at the moment, hearing about it in other people's podcasts. And I know that people are afraid to show up fully as themselves for a whole heap of reasons, but I wanna talk about this and peel back some of the layers about what might be really going on. Because I think, and I'm really passionate about this, that we need to show up fully as ourselves'cause the world deserves. People leading with integrity, authenticity, and to really have the opportunity to connect with people who are real, raw, honest, and making a difference. So let's talk today about the deep embodied courage it takes to show up fully, especially after trauma and especially in a world that sometimes punishes people for standing tall. If you join me for last week's episode, healing was only the beginning. Then you'll know that we talked about what it means to lead from wholeness, not from our wounds. We explored the shift from trauma recovery, stepping fully into integration, from surviving through to leading and thriving, and once you start living from that place of wholeness. There's a whole new edge that appears, and here's what often happens next, once you've done the healing, once you start living from integration, the next edge is being seen in it. And of course, that's where good old tall poppy syndrome often starts whispering in your ear, who do you think you are to shine that brightly? So this episode is about recognizing that whisper and learning to rise anyway. It's the invitation to be seen and to stand tall and proud in the process. I firmly believe that we all deserve to shine our light brightly. So I really encourage you. Not to ever let anyone dim your light a little while back. If I'm honest, not that long ago, I had this moment that did stop me in my tracks. I was sitting at my desk and is so often is the case, coffee in hand, about to post something on social media. It wasn't even anything huge, just a reflection about grief, growth and how healing isn't linear, but my hands hovered over the keyboard and just before I hit publish, my chest tightened and I felt that old, familiar feeling, that tightness in my chest, the one that says Careful, don't say too much. It was subtle at first. My body remembered something that my mind had forgotten. That old nervous system hum kicked in. Careful. Don't say too much. And it wasn't just fear of judgment. It was that old, tall poppy conditioning, the one that says, don't stand out. Don't make others uncomfortable with your truth. Growing up in Australia, I saw it everywhere and I know that I now have listeners all around the world, and you might not be familiar with the term tall poppy syndrome, but I know that you also have experienced various forms of it in your countries. It's when someone succeeded or spoke up or shone too brightly, people would say. They were getting a bit full of themselves and they would often try and cut them down for various reasons. And for those of us with trauma histories, that message burrows pretty deep visibility can start to feel dangerous. Not because we are weak, but because we've been trained to believe that it's safer to blend in and not rock the boat. I realized that even after all my own healing work, all my professional work, I was still protecting parts of myself from being fully seen. And I did have to laugh a little because visibility has always been a bit of a complicated thing for me. Growing up, I learned pretty early that being too much, too loud, too outspoken, too intense, could draw criticism and attention. So I did what so many of us do. I learned to perform safety, to smile, to achieve, to please, to be visible, but only in the ways that felt acceptable. And this continued as a psychologist. Even as a psychologist for all those years, I hid behind professionalism. I wore that professional mask that I know many of you know so well of competence and control, calm, composed, and competent, because that's what I thought clients, colleagues in the world wanted from me. I thought credibility meant invisibility, that showing emotion or sharing too much would make me unprofessional. Or could even result in me being seen as impaired. But that mask served to keep me separate from my own heart, disconnected from my soul and my core purpose, and from the people who needed to see my humanity the most. And yet, somewhere inside, I always knew the parts of me that had been through the fire. Those were the parts that actually made me trustworthy and more authentic. And I would often tell my clients that our nervous system remembers what our mind forgets. When we've experienced trauma, the body learns that visibility equals vulnerability. And if you've ever felt shamed, been dismissed or punished for being your authentic self. You know exactly what I'm talking about, and the body stores that message. It's safer to stay small, so even when life looks good, you're successful, capable, maybe even thriving. Your system can still whisper. Don't draw too much attention. Don't risk rejection. Keep yourself safe. And the irony, those protective strategies, perfectionism, overworking, performing often make us really good at what we do as a recovering workaholic, A self-sacrificing people pleaser. I know that all too well. They help us survive, but they also quietly keep us disconnected from our deeper truth. Our nervous system also remembers what our cultures reinforce. When trauma teaches you that being seen equals being unsafe, and society echoes that with tall poppy syndrome, then you get a double dose of suppression and your body says, hide to survive, and your culture says shrink to belong. It's no wonder visibility feels hard, but here's the truth. Both trauma and tall Poppy syndrome thrive in silence. They lose their grip the moment you decide to take up space anyway. They lose their grip the moment you decide to take up space anyway, and taking up space isn't arrogance. It's aliveness and it's how we really start to move on our path to thriving. A few years ago, I was leading a workshop for practitioners on trauma-informed care. Halfway through, a lady asked me a question that hit me straight in the heart. She said, Nat. Do you ever still struggle with the things that you teach? And for a split second, my armor rose and that old part of me, the one who believed being seen as an authority meant perfection. Wanted to say, nah, not really. That internal voice said, don't admit it, stay polished. But something in me stopped. Something in me softened instead. And I took a breath and said, yeah, of course I do. I still get triggered. I still catch myself doing things for self-worth, and I still forget to rest, and you could feel the whole room exhale. That moment taught me something that I'll never forget. People don't trust your polished presentation. They trust your presence. They value and trust your honesty and your authenticity. Leading with a mask might feel safe, but let's face it, it's exhausting. It's like holding your breath while running a marathon. They don't need another expert performing strength. They need someone real enough to model it. And when we lead from the mask, from the image of who we think we should be, we lose the very connection that makes our leadership powerful. Leading without the mask doesn't mean oversharing or blurring boundaries or living boundary free. Let's get that really clear from the outset. It's not about spilling every detail of your life online. Absolutely not. It's about alignment, letting your inner truth match your outer expression. It's about letting who you are. Match how you show up. And for me, that looked like slowly taking off the armor first in small ways, sharing my story of burnout, talking about my own healing journey, and acknowledging that therapists, practitioners, and coaches are human too. In fact, we're human first. And that's okay. Talking openly about the messy middle, allowing my audience thank you all very much, and my clients see the human behind the credentials that's been so powerful for me. And something really interesting happened. Guess what? The world didn't collapse, didn't implode. In fact, everything expanded. Instead of people losing respect, they actually connected more deeply and they said things like, oh, it's such a relief to know you've been there too. Colleagues began opening up about their own hidden struggles and admitted that they'd been hiding too, because courage is contagious. When one poppy grows tall, it reminds the others that they can rise too because authenticity doesn't diminish credibility. In fact, I firmly believe it amplifies it, and that's when I realized that leadership isn't about appearing strong. It's about being real enough to hold space for strength and softness at the same time, and that's what integrated leadership looks like. If visibility feels edgy for you, I wanna share a few practices that have helped me to retrain my body and to quiet that tall poppy reflex, not. Just intellectually, but somatically number one, breathe before you share. So whether it's posting online, giving feedback, or sharing a story, I want you to pause. Place your hand on your heart. Exhale longer than you inhale. Oh, and tell your nervous system. It's safe to be seen now, and that small act tells your body you're not in danger, that you are expanding. And I still do this before speaking events or podcast interviews. It's my nervous system. Reset number two. Share from scars, not open wounds. There's a difference between using your story and processing your story publicly. If it's still raw, keep it sacred and give it time. But when it's integrated, when you can speak without reactivating when the lesson has landed, that's when your story can serve others. You're not bleeding on people. You're leading with wisdom, and that's when it becomes medicine for others. And number three is to practice micro visibility. You don't have to leap onto a stage and be the center of attention. Start with gentle truth telling. Maybe be honest with a friend. Tell someone you trust how you really feel. Show your face in a short story clip. Wear the bright color that you secretly love. Post a photo that isn't perfectly curated. Say yes to the opportunity that scares you a little. As each act teaches your nervous system that standing tall is safe. Now each act of authenticity rewires your nervous system to associate visibility with safety, not threat. And over time, those micro moments build a new default. It's safe to be me. So in closing, I wanna ask you, where are you still hiding? Where does your voice catch or your body tighten? When you think about being seen, where do you catch yourself shrinking, apologizing, or downplaying your brilliance to make others comfortable. That's tall Poppy syndrome in action. The subtle fear that if you stand too tall, someone might come along and cut you down. Maybe it's in your business showing up online as your true self. Maybe it's in your relationships speaking your truth instead of keeping the peace. Maybe it's simply letting yourself be visible in your joy, not just your pain. For me, the real transformation happened when I stopped waiting to feel ready and started choosing to show up anyway, because courage isn't the absence of fear, you know that it's visibility despite it. It's about getting in the arena and doing the work despite the blood, sweat, and tears, and here's the magic. The more that I allowed myself to be seen, the safer it became. The fear didn't disappear overnight. It's still there, but it stopped running the show. These days when I sit down to record or speak on stage or post something vulnerable, I remind myself, you're not performing anymore, Nat. You're just being. Real raw and you, and that's what I want for you too. Here's the truth. Your light doesn't take away from anyone else's. Your visibility creates space for others to rise. And when you show up authentically, voice trembling heart open, you give others permission to do the same. That's the antidote to both trauma and tall Poppy syndrome. Visibility with integrity, because the world doesn't need more perfectly curated experts. It needs real humans. The ones who can say, I've walked through my own fire and I'm still standing. I'm still learning and I'm still leading, I'm still healing, and I'm still showing up. That's what courage looks like. That's leadership. That's what integration feels like. That's integrated leadership and that is how we grow tall together. So wherever you are today, whether you're ready to take off the mask completely. Just loosen it a little. Know this. You are safe to be seen. You are safe to shine, and your authenticity is the medicine that this world needs. So this week I really wanna invite you to take one small act of courageous visibility. Post the thing that you've been holding back. Share your story in the room. That needs to hear it. And if you'd like to be a guest on our Growing Tall Poppies podcast, thrive After Trauma, then please reach out. I would love to showcase you and your story and help you shine your light brightly for the whole world to hear and see, speak your truth with love, because when one poppy stands tall, it reminds the others what is possible. Thank you so much for being here with me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening, reflecting and rising alongside me, and allowing me to share a little more of my truth with you. If this conversation resonated, then I'd love to hear what being seen means for you in your world right now. Come share your reflections with me over on Instagram at Dr. Nat Green. I always love hearing your stories or tag me in your stories with your own tall poppy moment. And if you haven't already, make sure you follow Growing Tall Poppies Thrive after trauma, so you never miss an episode. And I'd love to have you share it with your friends and I'd love for you to like and write a review. And next week we'll be exploring the rest revolution, reclaiming our energy after trauma. Because thriving also means slowing down. Until then, stay grounded, stay open, and keep leading from love, and I cannot wait to see you. Keep growing tall like the tall poppy that you deserve to be. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post-traumatic growth, so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions. And regulate your nervous system so you can fully thrive. New episodes are published every Tuesday, and I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post-traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates, then I invite you to hit subscribe and it would mean the world to us. If you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit too, you may also find me on Instagram at Growing Tall Poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons and to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected. Stay inspired. Stand tall like the tall poppy you are, and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for.