Breaking The Silence: On Gaslighting, Trauma & Systemic Failure in Healthcare

Have you ever walked into a medical appointment hoping for support — only to walk out questioning your sanity?

In this powerful episode of Growing Tall Poppies, Dr. Nat Green breaks her silence on the deeply personal and painful experiences she and many of her clients have faced within the healthcare and mental health systems. From being gaslit and dismissed, to surviving medical misadventures and a systemically mishandled  allegation — Nat takes you inside the invisible battles that so many trauma survivors face.

Dr. Nat delves into the deeply personal and systemic issues that arise when the very systems designed to protect us—healthcare, mental health, regulatory bodies, and legal systems—end up causing more harm than healing.

⚠️ This episode dives deep into:

• Medical gaslighting and the dismissal of invisible illnesses
• How patriarchal power structures protect health professionals — not patients
• Why complaint systems re-traumatise rather than repair
• The emotional toll of speaking up in a system designed to silence
• How to turn pain into purpose and advocate for systemic change

If you’ve experienced chronic illness, complex trauma, or have been disbelieved by the very people meant to help — this episode is for you.

🧠 Topics We Cover:

• What it’s like to be gaslit by health professionals, and regulators
• The intersection of trauma, chronic pain, and medical misogyny
• The cultural conditioning inside the “boys’ club” of healthcare
• What true trauma-informed care should look like — and how to demand it
• Ways we can create real change and protect future patients

Dr. Nat shares her own experiences with medical trauma and the systemic barriers she faced, offering a poignant narrative on gaslighting, dismissal, and the fight for acknowledgment. She emphasizes the need for systemic change, highlighting the importance of sharing stories, advocating for trauma-informed systems, and building collective voices to challenge outdated, patriarchal structures. Tune in to discover how we can move forward, create meaningful change, and truly thrive after trauma.

Whether you’re a patient, a professional, or someone trying to make sense of what happened to you — this episode offers validation, insight, and a way forward.

🔗 Connect with Dr Nat

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ 

 Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Website https://www.drnataliegreen.com.au

🗣️ Share this with someone who’s been dismissed, silenced, or hurt by a system that should have done better. You are not alone — and you are not the problem.

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green: 0:01

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post-traumatic growth and not just survive, but to thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self-awareness, and a deep inner peace. Through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand. We'll combine psychology accelerated approaches. Coaching and personal experience to assist you, to learn, to grow and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves. In order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. Welcome back to Growing Tall Poppies. The space where we grow together after trauma, where we talk about the hard things with honesty, compassion, and a fierce commitment to truth. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and today I wanna talk about something that's personal, painful. Deeply systemic. It's something I've stayed silent on for a very long time. What happens when you try to challenge a system that protects itself, especially when that system is supposed to protect you? Today we are diving into what happens when the very systems designed to protect and care for us; health, mental health, complaints regulatory bodies, and even the legal system end up causing more harm than healing, especially for those of us living with invisible health conditions, trauma or complex needs. We are talking about gaslighting, dismissal, being told nothing's wrong when your body is screaming, that something is being told this didn't happen when it absolutely did. And we're also asking the big question how. Do we create real systemic change in institutions and systems that weren't built for us, and in many ways were built to protect themselves. If you've ever felt like you were screaming into the void, then this episode is for you. I wanna name something clearly. The outdated patriarchal structures in our healthcare and medical systems that have created a kind of closed boys club, one that makes it incredibly difficult and sometimes dangerous for individuals, especially women, to speak up when something goes wrong. If you've ever been dismissed. Gaslit or retraumatized by a complaint process that should have protected you. You are not alone, and this episode is especially for you. So let me start today with a personal story. It's not one I share lightly.'cause the emotional toll of trying to raise a concern within these systems has left a significant scar of its own. Several years ago, I trusted a healthcare professional with my care What followed wasn't just a medical error, it was a cascade of preventable harm that unfolded over months. Had there been more listening? More transparency, more accountability. So much of it could have been avoided. Instead of acknowledgement, I was met with silence or worse defensiveness, closed ranks, passive aggressive communication, blame shifting. I wasn't just trying to recover from a health event. I was navigating a complaint system seemingly designed to protect itself rather than investigate or restore justice. You see, it's not just about individual professionals making mistakes, mistakes happen. We're all human after all. But what creates deep lasting trauma is when the system refuses to acknowledge the harm. When it gaslights, the person affected, retraumatizes them through bureaucratic hoops and then closes the door in their face. And this wasn't isolated. Many of my clients, especially women, and those with complex trauma histories, have experienced the same silencing. So as some of you may know. From listening to some of my story in previous episodes, I underwent major ankle reconstruction surgery that definitely didn't go to plan. It led to a golden staph infection, which turned systemic and nearly cost me my life through sepsis. Eight months in and out of hospital, four surgeries, the development of autoimmune conditions, chronic reactions. Complex regional pain syndrome, peripheral neuropathy. The list goes on and on. Whatever could go wrong often did. PICC lines placed dangerously close to my heart. A guide wire left inside another PICC line after a surgery, which could have been fatal. And every time I spoke up, I was dismissed. Told it wasn't a big deal. Treated as though I was exaggerating or making it up. One doctor wouldn't even examine me, afraid to speak against a colleague. I wasn't looking to blame anyone. I just wanted someone to acknowledge my condition and to help with effective treatment so I could get better. Instead, I learned, I just had to put up with it. To bottle it all up and that trauma undoubtedly stayed trapped inside my already overs, sensitized nervous system. And later I sought help from another professional, vulnerable, desperate to manage what I was living with. And instead what occurred was a situation that I perceived to be an assault, a sexual assault. I won't go into detail here, and nothing has been legally proven or disproven, but I can say this, the way the system's handled it has definitely compounded my trauma. Not once, but again and again and again. And here's the truth. It is possible, and heartbreakingly too common to be re-traumatized by the very institutions that claim to protect you. When you live with invisible illness, a complex condition, chronic pain, trauma, you quickly learn that being believed is not guaranteed. It often feels like a battle. An uphill one at best one, you may not have the energy to fight. Here's where I've been, failed the health system where my symptoms were downplayed and I was labeled too complex to assist the mental health system, where as a clinician myself, I feared being seen as impaired. Couldn't trust colleagues to truly hold space. When I finally did, they let me down and I was shattered due to their fear of speaking out on the stand if that was ever required. I was let down big time, the complaint system, which eventually apologized for their processes, but changed nothing. The legal system where accountability became a script of legal speak, not justice. I've sat in rooms where people look me in the eye. They nodded empathetically and said, oh, we hear you. This shouldn't have happened. Oh, I'm so sorry. The system has let you down. And then silence. No follow up, no systemic change. Just another ticked box. Silence. No action. No change. The deepest harm isn't always the initial event. Sometimes it's a repeated betrayal. The gaslighting, the invalidation, the erasure. I know from my clients and some colleagues that I'm not alone in this. I feel that it's finally time to speak out. When you live with invisible illness, it doesn't just reveal physical challenges. It exposures the fractures in the system. You look fine on the outside, so you must be exaggerating. You ask questions, so you must be difficult. You advocate for yourself, so you must be emotional or noncompliant. And this happens most often to women neurodivergent people and those with trauma backgrounds, because this isn't just about healthcare, it's about power. Outdated patriarchal systems are built on control, hierarchy and certainty, not curiosity, collaboration, humility, or listening in these systems. The professional is always right. The patient is a liability and often seen as unreliable. A complaint is a threat. Not a gift for growth. Add to this, the additional layer of the cultural conditioning in these systems that says doctors don't make mistakes, colleagues don't call each other out, and admitting fault is weakness, not an act of integrity. It's cultural, it's generational. It protects itself at all costs while patients just like you and me, pay the price. Add to this, the toxic culture of silence, where healthcare professionals are often discouraged from apologizing or punished if they speak out and it becomes clear. The system is built to protect itself, not the people it serves. Are you trying to make a complaint? For most people, it's not an empowering process. Indeed, it's a soul destroying one. Why? Reviews are often conducted by people with personal or professional connections to the practitioner. Trauma-informed care for complainants is non-existent. No check-ins, no emotional support. No transparency about the process. Outcomes are minimal or performative. Offered a defensive response that shifts the blame back onto the patient. And even when harm is acknowledged or fault is found, nothing changes. And this creates a chilling effect. People stop speaking up, problems continue harm repeats and silence. It just grows stronger. What happens when you do try to create change, you burn out, you advocate. You write letters, you make calls. You attend meetings with officials. You hold yourself together in rooms where no one understands your pain. You explain yourself again and again and again. Then nothing. Nothing changes. If you're very lucky, someone may acknowledge something, but no job's lost, no policy shifts, no real accountability takes place. No meaningful outcomes. You are not only left with your original trauma. The exhaustion and the emotional toll of having to justify your own pain. Again, advocacy fatigue is real, and this is why so many give up, not because they don't care, but because it's soul destroying to be ignored and continually unheard. So what do we do about this? How do we move forward? How do we create systemic change in a system that resists scrutiny? And this is the part of the episode where I wish I could give you a simple five step solution, but if we're honest, change is slow, messy, and rarely linear. Here's what I do believe in deeply. One, your story is power. Telling your truth, whether it's through a podcast, a social post, a letter, or a private journal. This is a radical act. Chips away at silence, and the silence is what enables systemic harm to continue sharing our stories as painful as they are. This interrupts the silence. It lets others know that they're not alone. It builds momentum. It builds connection. It invites others to say, me too. Number two, let's call for trauma-informed systems. That means acknowledging the emotional impact of medical harm, having independent reviewers, making space for patient voices, not just ticking boxes. Let's push for independent complaints. Bodies that don't review their own trauma-informed interviewing processes, protective policies for patients with complex needs or trauma backgrounds. Number three. Let's train professionals in humility and accountability. This isn't optional anymore. Humility, listening, trauma awareness. They should be non-negotiable in clinical training. Trauma-informed is not just for psychologists, not anymore. Fourthly, let's empower whistleblowers. Health workers who speak up should be protected, not punished. We need to value integrity over silence. Number five, collective voices are so much louder than solo ones. One voice may be ignored, but many. That's where a movement begins. Let's share stats and patterns. Submit letters, use numbers and stories. Number six, let's build alliances, whether it's through joining advocacy groups, support networks, making our own communities, speak on platforms, share space. Don't go it alone. Connection is power number seven, centre lived experience in system design. Real reform happens when those who have been harmed are invited into leadership, are involved in having input into the systems that hurt them, not silenced or tokenized. If you are offered a seat at the table, for goodness sake, take it. If you're not, then create your own. And lastly, number eight, rest and reclaim your energy. Sometimes the most radical act is to stop fighting the system and put that energy back into your own healing. Your own joy, your own community. You are not required to burn out in the pursuit of justice. Sometimes thriving is your most powerful rebellion, so reclaim your nervous system. Your healing matters too. And if you are sitting there today or out on your walk, you are listening and thinking. That's me. I've tried. I've spoken up. I've been shut down. I want you to know and hear me when I say you are not overreacting. You are not crazy. You are not the problem to the person who's been hurt by one of these systems. Not just by the original harm, but by how it was handled. I wanna say this, it wasn't your fault. You are not overreacting. Your pain is valid, and it deserves to be heard and held with care. The systems need to change, not you. The culture of silence and protection in many of these systems is a collective wound, but that means that healing can also be collective by speaking up, by joining together, by refusing to be silenced, we chip away at the old structures and we build something better. And every time that you tell your story, you're not just healing yourself. You're helping to carve a safer path for someone else. We need systems that don't just heal. They listen where professionals are human, humble, and accountable. Where every person, regardless of their title is treated with the dignity that they deserve, that centre humanity, humility and honesty. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, then I'd love for you to please share it with someone that you think needs to hear it. Let's interrupt the silence together because together slowly imperfectly, but powerfully we can create the kind of change that makes the future better for the ones coming behind us. You shouldn't have had to go through what you did, but your voice might help someone else avoid it. If you've got a story like this, then I really wanna hear from you. I'd love for you to reach out, DM me on Instagram or Facebook, send me an email. I'm here and I am more than ready to listen, so let's keep growing, and rising together. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post-traumatic growth, so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions. And regulate your nervous system so you can fully thrive. New episodes are published every Tuesday, and I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post-traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates, then I invite you to hit subscribe and it would mean the world to us. If you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit too, you may also find me on Instagram at Growing Tall Poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons and to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected. Stay inspired. Stand tall like the tall poppy you are, and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for.