Growing Tall Poppies

Overthinking Your Relationship? Conquer Relationship OCD & Reclaim Your PEACE

• Dr Natalie Green • Season 2 • Episode 43

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In this episode of Growing Tall Poppies, host Dr Nat Green sits down with Erin Davis, an OCD therapist and relationship coach, who empowers women to break free from worry, get untangled from obsessive doubts, build lasting confidence, and open the door to deep love and focus on real connection in their romantic relationship.  

Erin has been Featured in Healthline, she’s also the host of the 5-star podcast show, Bossing Up: Overcoming OCD, available on all major podcast platforms. Based in North Carolina, Erin provides personalized therapy and relationship coaching to help women create peace, presence, and true connection.

We dive deep into the challenges of Relationship OCD (ROCD), obsessive doubts, and comparisonitis— and how they impact relationships and how to break free from their grip. Erin shares her personal journey with overcoming her own trauma and OCD and it's impact on her relationships and the powerful tools she’s developed to help clients cultivate healthier, more secure relationships.

Key Takeaways:

🔹 What is Comparisonitis? – The trap of comparing your relationship to idealized versions on social media and how it fuels obsessional doubt.

🔹 Obsessional Doubt vs. Reasonable Doubt – How OCD creates a cycle of endless uncertainty and why traditional reassurance doesn’t work.

🔹 The Reassurance Trap – Why constantly seeking validation from your partner can damage trust and connection.

🔹 The PEACE Method for Overcoming Relationship OCD:

Erin outlines her transformative PEACE method, and highlights how to discover the important distinctions between obsessive and reasonable doubts that many women experience.

  • P – Practice: Regularly using skills to reduce OCD-driven behaviors.
  • E – Evidence: Relying on facts, not emotions, to assess your relationship.
  • A – Acknowledge: Recognizing when OCD thoughts take over and shifting back to reality.
  • C – Contentment: Finding peace and security in your relationship without chasing perfection.
  • E – Empowerment: Taking back control from OCD and learning to trust yourself.
  • 🔹 Group Coaching Program: Obsessed Less, Love More – Erin introduces her program which provides a supportive space for women struggling with relationship OCD, designed to break free from obsessive thoughts and build self-confidence in themselves and their relationships.

Connect with Erin & Learn More:

FREE Gift from Erin :-10 Signs of Relationship OCD Checklist 

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Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Dr Nat Green:

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post traumatic growth and not just survive, thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self awareness, a deep inner peace through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand. We will combine psychology, accelerated approaches, coaching and personal experience to assist you to learn, to grow and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness. and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves in order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. I'm super excited today to bring you our next guest on the Growing Tall Poppies podcast. It's my absolute pleasure and privilege to welcome a wonderful lady and my beautiful friend Erin Davis to chat with us today.

Erin Davis:

Thank you, Dr. Nat. I'm so excited to be here, and it's such a privilege to be on your show. So thank you so much for having me here.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, my absolute pleasure. Let me introduce you, Erin, to our audience, our beautiful listeners. So Erin Davis is an OCD therapist and relationship coach who helps women break free from worry, build lasting confidence, and open the door to deep love in their romantic relationships. She's been featured in Healthline and is Also the host of the five star show, bossing up overcoming OCD, which is available on all major podcast platforms. And she also has over a decade of experience empowering women to reclaim control and confidence in their lives. She's based in North Carolina and Erin provides personalized therapy and relationship coaching to help people create peace, presence, and true connection. So yes. It's wonderful to have you here and I, as I said, I'm so grateful and feel so blessed to be able to have our listeners and myself to hear your story and also for you to share your amazing wisdom.

Erin Davis:

Awesome. Well, that bio, it, uh, gives me chills cause it doesn't, it doesn't feel like me. So it's really cool.

Dr Nat Green:

Isn't it fantastic when we hear things read back to us and we go, Oh, is that really me? Have I done that?

Erin Davis:

Right. Yeah. Just doing the day to day and then all of a sudden that day to day becomes over a decade.

Dr Nat Green:

Amazing. Yes. Yes. Time flies when we're having fun. So. Yes. What I might just start with then, Erin, is, can you give us, in your beautiful words, an introduction of who you are and what you do in the world? Because I'm sure you could say so much more than that little brief introduction.

Erin Davis:

Well, my story, I mean, I'm married, happily married for 15 years. I've got three boys. Also, I'm a dog mama. My dog is a certified therapy dog. So she goes with me to work and it's just fabulous. And I primarily specialize in OCD work because so many women struggle with OCD and don't realize it. And. More often than not, OCD gets misdiagnosed, and it can be completely missed altogether. And early on in my work as a therapist, I noticed that there were so many ladies having quote unquote anxiety, and it wasn't getting resolved with the traditional, like, cognitive behavioral methods. So, it wasn't getting cured, and so in digging deeper in that, I was discovering that, oh, they're having. A full blown OCD episode. This is the cycle I'm seeing the worry of, am I with the right person or how do I know they love me? And all these compulsive behaviors of checking their socials, checking their texts, wanting reassurance. And I'm like, this is not your typical anxiety because. Yeah, anxiety may be present, but I was seeing this was much more than that. And so from there, that's when I started specializing in OCD and throughout the years. I just see more and more women struggling with this and not realizing it, but once they have that clarity and the information, they just have an epiphany of like, Oh my gosh, I thought OCD was all hand washing and germs and organization. I'm like, no, hon, like. It's more than that. It can be a different shade, a different color, and you can still shine brightly even with having such a disabling disorder as OCD. So it's definitely a passion of mine to help bring more information and more ladies to clarity.

Dr Nat Green:

what a Fantastic summary of OCD because as you said, most of us, and you know, I have a background in clinical psychology, so the way we're trained is it really is a lot of the time around that checking, double checking, triple checking, hand washing type of thing, rather than recognising that it can Really go across all areas and show up so significantly in our relationships.

Erin Davis:

Yes, and even the research shows that when you have the theme of relationship OCD, you typically have more distress. than the other OCD themes. So even more of a reason because we are humans, we are designed for connection and relationships. And it's a shame that OCD robs and can rob so many women of beautiful relationships.

Dr Nat Green:

Yeah. I can imagine. I can't imagine the type of stories that you've knowing that. You can help these people and they've suffered for so many years not knowing. So I can imagine the epiphany when you shine a light on, Hang on, this is what it really is and this is how I can help you.

Erin Davis:

Right. Exactly. And it's so incredible because in the conversations I have with these ladies, I'm not telling them to break up with their partner. I'm not forcing them to go on dates with people. I'm helping them lean into their truth and get to know like their real selves and learn to trust themselves and their senses to help bring about a life that's already beautiful and within their reach. So it's. You know, it's very different than the way you talk to your girlfriends, right? Cause your girlfriend's like, you know, they're gossiping, they're telling you to break up with him. They're telling you this, they're telling you that. And even if you're trying to get validation from your mom, I mean, she's going to take your side no matter what, you know, and so it's not, it's all well meaning advice when you're talking to your family and your friends, but. When you're working with an OCD therapist such as myself, we know the game that OCD is trying to play. And so we can, yeah, we can help you stay in. I, well, I can help you stay in that relationship as long, obviously, I feel like there's always a caveat, as long as it's not an abusive relationship, right? Of course. But, you know, with the relationship OCD, they feel they want a hundred percent certainty, a hundred percent guarantee, and The amazing part is that, like, I'll have a woman who is engaged to be married. She's super worried, super nervous, like, how do I know I found the one? And through our work together, she gets to a place of picking out her wedding dress with ease. And, WOW every time it happens, it gives me chills because it's just so rewarding.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, it must be to know that you've played just a small part in their happiness and their future and shown them that it can be so different to the life they thought they were signing up for.

Erin Davis:

Right. Right. And the other thing I want to mention about OCD is that about one in 40. Adults in the United States develop OCD at some point in their lives. So if you look at that number, you translate that 1 in 40, that's almost as many. People as living in New York City.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh my goodness. When you put it in those terms, like, obviously I'm in Australia, but I have a lot of guests that are in America and even us over here know, wow, we know how big New York is if we've been there. It's, it's huge and bustling. So that just puts things in perspective.

Erin Davis:

Yes. And to think that it's missed 50 percent of the time, like insane. So I'm just. Happy to be doing what I'm doing and helping more and more people, which is also why I transitioned into coaching to help reach more people by offering a group coaching program just to get so many ladies together and in community to help support one another, which, you know, we can totally talk about,

Dr Nat Green:

yeah, and I imagine that someone with OCD feels very isolated and alone.

Erin Davis:

Oh, completely.

Dr Nat Green:

Yeah, they keep it a secret because they're embarrassed or ashamed or they don't really know what's going on and they think that whole thought process of there's something wrong with me. I'm bad.

Erin Davis:

Right.

Dr Nat Green:

Defective Yeah. So as we know, Erin with my guest interviews, I talk to people around their trauma or adversity that they may have had in their life and how they navigated their experience and any lessons or learnings from their experience and have them share pearls of wisdom. And what we often know is I've had some. Brilliant, amazing guests on our show is that we get into the work we get into because we have a backstory and an area of interest. So I'm wondering if you felt that it was okay if you could share an overview of what's happened for you and led you to working in the OCD field.

Erin Davis:

Sure. Well, and my story has evolved, which I think is also something I help other women come to realize, like to be flexible. Right. Our life is not linear in any means. So in my childhood and teenage years, like I was subject to a lot of. Abuse and abuse that I did my own therapy work and healing around, but that still didn't help me in my relationships and connections as I got older and was dating. And I remember I had this long term boyfriend in high school and it was just, Oh, repulsive and just a terrible partner. But because of my shame and guilt and low self worth, I was in that headspace of what if I don't find anyone else? What if this is it even though I'm in high school like there's a whole world out there and I Prayed for someone like my husband and I wanted to know I would even ask God Just tell me what his first name is just just even his first name like I wanted to know who my forever was going to be and I remember with Uh, my ex boyfriend, the abusive guy, we were driving down the highway and we had been dating four years at this point and The Rascal Flatts song comes on the radio. Do you know Rascal Flatts? Yep. Yep. I'm familiar with it a long time ago, but yes. Yes. So totally love country music over here. So in the chorus, they're singing, my wish for you. Is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams, stay big, your worries, stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too. So light bulb goes off in my mind because all of a sudden, like I've been caught up in this story for years of what if I don't find someone else? What if I don't find someone else? And. Then hearing the song of, you know, someone loves you and they want the same things too, like you have big dreams, your worries stay small, and I just really felt this wave come over me and I looked over at him and I said, do you think we want the same things? You know what he said?

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, I can't imagine.

Erin Davis:

He was like, yeah, I think so. I'm like, what do you mean you think so? I'm like, okay. All right. Well, you tell me what does that look like? And he said, Well, you know, I think we'll live together and see how it goes. I'm like, oh my gosh, like I, I am not doing any more trial run. Stuff here. If you don't know that I'm the one, like I'm not, I'm not hanging around. So luckily broke up with him and that was the light bulb moment I needed to end it. And not too long after that, I met my husband and it's been like any relationship. That was one thing I learned too, is that even if there are conflicts, it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed.

Dr Nat Green:

Absolutely not. Yes.

Erin Davis:

And my husband has been my rock and he has been so good to me. I'm beyond blessed to have my husband and he's, he's just the best, the best guy in the world and the best father. So it's really been a joy having him in my life and he's very supportive of my dreams too. So I think about that moment a lot and that was a very pivotal moment for me.

Dr Nat Green:

Absolutely. Really, you know, that light bulb sledgehammer moment, almost that whole, wow, am I going to settle for this or am I going to honor me and aim for more? So with that relationship worry that had been there, prior to this, and then you met the ex boyfriend and four years of your life of all that worry. At what point did you realize that maybe it wasn't just a normal, whatever normal is, who knows what normal is, level of worry in a relationship that it might've been more significant anxiety stemming from past traumas and things?

Erin Davis:

Honestly, that realization didn't come until My adulthood and specializing in OCD, because as you know, when clients are sharing things, you get supervision early on, but I noticed it was definitely triggering some stuff in me. And so again, just in digging deeper and really understanding, getting a clearer picture of how the obsessions can take a different form and then the compulsions, how they look in a cycle. so It was honestly in my adulthood when I realized like, oh boy, I was, uh, really having a battle there that would have been really nice to have a therapist by my side. And that was one of the things I wanted to mention too, is that I became a therapist to be a voice for people that I wish I had or a mentor that I wish I had to process all this stuff because it was very lonely.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, yeah. And very powerful to think you could see in hindsight, what would have helped you, where you could have benefited and then use that experience to pay it forward. So as we know, Erin, people, when they go through trauma, Most of my listeners, they spend lots of time in their head, thinking, overthinking, overthinking, overanalyzing, and their perception of themselves will change over time as a result of the overthinking. And that can often then lead to them withdrawing from their relationships, feeling differently in their relationships or settling for relationships that are less than, like you did, unknowingly. than what you were comfortable with or ultimately deserved and then that significant anxiety comes out and then will show up in the OCD things. So as a result of that realization for you, what do you think were the key things that you noticed starting to come up in your clients?

Erin Davis:

Well, it very much mimicked my own life where Uh, first of all, it's an avoidance of sharing your truth or using I statements of any kind, because I didn't want to upset my husband, you know, so, and what I didn't realize was avoidance is also a compulsion.

Dr Nat Green:

Interesting. Yeah. Maybe we should dig a little deeper there. Cause I think when people have gone through trauma or adversity, we do avoid. Oh yeah. Because it's painful, it's hard, it's challenging, or we're worried all the time. So tell us a bit more about that.

Erin Davis:

Yes. And that's where. Also too, like a therapist who is not trained in OCD, they may see it as simply a trauma response and it totally could be, it could be overlapping. But the avoidance is I don't want to make people mad, you know, I don't want to bring up this conversation. And in my clients, I see a lot of, they will avoid a relationship altogether because they're like. I'm not sure how I can handle someone being in my bed. I'm not sure how I can handle like having someone sit with me on the couch, because they've got all sorts of thoughts going on. But for some of them, there's no trauma in their background. Like. So we know it's a hundred percent pure OCD, but you know, in my case, um, yeah, I had a lot of avoidance. And the other thing I've learned with OCD that I see in my clients and I give them fair warning too, is that OCD is a shape shifter. So once you resolve one part of it, it's going to try to pop up in another way. And so for me. Once I was, and in looking back, like once I was out of that fear of what if I don't find the one? What if I don't find someone? Once I found the one, you know, I thought everything was great and good. But it wasn't because then the fear became, well, how do I know he loves me? And so I was looking for reassurance, looking back and it's just, I want to hit my head against the wall because I'm like, Oh, I was just doing so many things of trying to check if he loved me that it really created some false narratives and it wasn't healthy, wasn't helpful. And so that epiphany for me really came about four years ago when I just, honestly, it was almost like a spiritual situation where. Just kind of hit a place in my marriage, and I'm doing a lot of praying, and I just felt the Lord tell me surrender. Like just stop, just stop all the checking and stop all the behaviors, like just surrender. Like goose bumps then, got chills. Yeah, yeah, so Okay, personal story, and you don't have to air this, so we'll just kind of play it by ear, but, with all the reassurance seeking that I was doing with my husband, you know, does he love me? Does he love me? I somehow had in my head that if we are living away from family and it's just he and I, then he's really going to be all about me. And if we move back close to family, he's going to be distracted. He's not going to love me as much. He's going to forget about me. And so it was definitely a friction in our marriage because, well, it was a friction. It was a friction point. Let me say that. It was a friction point because, you know, he wanted to raise his kids in the country of North Carolina. And at the time we were living in the DC area where it's keeping up with the Joneses. It's very busy, hustle and bustle. I mean. You work hard and it's very little time for family life. So, but we were both working round the clock. Daycare was like paying for private school. And so anyway, it just hit a point where when I felt in that prayer and in that situation, the Lord told me to surrender. It was like I could trust that everything was going to be okay. That I told my husband, like all of a sudden I said, We can move back to North Carolina. And he was like, are you sick? Like what happened? Because for so long I had my heels in the ground of like, no, we're going to live on our own. We're going to live away and we're going to do this thing. And, but I just felt the Lord tell me to surrender and I did. And it was a great choice. And I. Continue to be vigilant with my prayers of calming my mind, helping me surrender and just trusting in him that everything's going to be okay.

Dr Nat Green:

Wow. So trusting in him, definitely huge, but sounds like trusting in yourself as well. Yes. Ask for something from a higher power. And I know past guests definitely have talked about their experiences from a spiritual perspective, whatever that means for them. And that is huge in the transition from trauma to post traumatic growth. That's definitely a common factor that I've seen with my guests. But in that there's really a trust of yourself, isn't there?

Erin Davis:

Absolutely. And I learned how my husband still loves me and I'm still his number one, even if he's got his family, his friends, his hobbies, you know, so it's a much better situation overall.

Dr Nat Green:

Yeah, so that epiphany and that moment and turning point for you was very similar to what a lot of your clients will have after they've worked with you. And I know one of the other things that comes up is comparisonitis. We often see that. So can you explain what comparisonitis is and why it's so common in relationships and particularly for someone with OCD?

Erin Davis:

Love the question because comparisonitis is the thief of joy for anyone, anybody, and what tends to happen, especially with social media is my clients time and time again, which, you know, I'll get into the, some of the methods that I walk them through. They will go on social media, they're scrolling Instagram and. Even though they have a solid loving relationship, they're seeing all these other couples having romantic getaways or these fancy dinners or these grand gestures of, I mean, even going to prom these days. Oh my gosh. It's a whole ordeal just asking another kid to go to prom. But anyway, so. When they're seeing all of these things on social media, that doubt starts to creep in, of why isn't our relationship Like that. And again, it's so easy to do with the comparison. And so then they start to have that, what I call obsessional doubt. And we can talk about that next, but that obsessional doubt then drives them to try to have this perfect relationship where, they feel like. Their partner is doing all of these great, grand, wonderful things, but that's, that's not who your partner was originally, your partner is someone who totally adores you, but they're not going to be the grand gestures. They're not going to be, uh, I don't know. What would you call it? Like some. Instagram, all star, like they're just their everyday selves, so they're not about the showboating.

Dr Nat Green:

Yeah, exactly. And the reality is often, as we know, social media presents in one way. That's not how real life is for the majority of people. And that's part of the, the big part of the issue, isn't it really?

Erin Davis:

Right. And with. OCD, a lot of times the women already know that it doesn't make logical sense, but OCD doesn't care. Yeah, and that's where it clouds your relationship or clouds the feelings that you have and you all of a sudden forget. Like why you love them or you forget how special the connection is because you're comparing to other couples, to other relationships. And so it pulls you away from that genuine connection and you're chasing an unrealistic standard because OCD never stops. That's the problem.

Dr Nat Green:

And that's, that's absolutely one of the key problems. It's there all the time, isn't it? Until you do the work to learn the, secrets to help overcome it, but it's still going to be there. It's this constant understanding of what you need to do. So you mentioned, about obsessive doubts. So what's the difference between obsessive doubts and reasonable doubts in a relationship?

Erin Davis:

Yes. So as we all are human, we have doubts from time to time. And normally when we experience doubts, like a curiosity, or there's a question, we're unsure about something, we will go seek the answer. Now, someone without OCD, once they get the answer, once they get the information, They are resolved. They have found their resolution and they can move on. but With obsessive doubts, this is another level of doubts where you are feeling like you are in a constant state of anxiety or uncertainty. And it makes it very difficult to have peace, because Even if you get the information, OCD says, yes, but it finds a loophole and it's this doubt driven cycle that just drains you and thus drains your relationship. So it erodes on that genuine connection over time.

Dr Nat Green:

And there's that constant reassurance seeking. That will play out in the relationship, that obsessiveness, the obsessive doubts, the comparisonitis and constantly seeking reassurance, like you said, was happening in your relationship with your husband. How does that hurt the relationship and what would be a healthier approach?

Erin Davis:

Oh my gosh, such a good question, because when you're asking for reassurance, Over and over like, and Nat, you've probably been there at some point or another too. So when someone is asking for reassurance and they're doing this reassurance seeking behavior, what they're doing is they're asking the same question or similar variation of the question multiple times, even though their partner or their loved one has already answered it. And imagine if you've asked your husband to go get milk from the store. Alright, he comes back home, and he's got the milk, he puts it in the fridge, and you ask him, did you go get milk? And he's like, Totally did but are you sure you got it? You're sure you got the right kind like Imagine how frustrating that would be for him. It's like oh my gosh woman. I got the milk What else do you want from me? Yes Yes, so And that's just an example of milk. Like imagine if it's a much deeper concern of how do I know if you're the one for me? How do you know we're going to be compatible in 10 years? Like questions like that, like OCD loves to ask questions that are almost unanswerable, if I'm being honest, because they're very far fetched and the further you get from reality, the more uncertainty you're going to have. And OCD thrives on wanting certainty. So it really puts you in an impossible situation and also your partner. So that reassurance seeking is very hurtful for your relationship. And what I help my clients do is. Number one, encourage them to not ask for reassurance. So what they do is they ask their question one time. I'm like, it's okay to ask for information. Okay. Like you can ask for information. That's fine, but you can only ask one time. So in essence, what we're doing, it's a series of strategies to delay, skip and decrease. These compulsions. So if they really want the reassurance, maybe delay it five minutes. See, see how you can handle that. So you start to build your tolerance over time for this discomfort. And by doing that, it turns down the volume on the OCD. So at first it can feel very loud and uncomfortable, but what's amazing is once they practice this over and over the delay, skip and decrease, they feel like, All right. These thoughts don't even bother me anymore. They're just passing thoughts.

Dr Nat Green:

What a fabulous strategy. And I can see why you get the results you get with your clients. Thank you. Just the level of personal experience but then coupled with all the training you've had and the information you've got from working with clients. And I know you've developed your own method. So I would love for you to tell us about your method and then we'll talk more about where people can find you and your group coaching program. So tell me about your peace method.

Erin Davis:

Fabulous question. Yeah, and just through the years to kind of simplify things and really hit the high notes Of what these ladies are looking for. I developed my peace method and Each letter represents its own category of things that we're working on and using throughout our work together. So, P is for practice. So we're practicing the skills and I'm teaching them the techniques that they need to continue to practice routinely. And again, they're very surprised at how hard it is in the beginning compared to how easy it is once they continue to practice. So. Uh, then E is for evidence, because with determining any decision, we can only go off of the information that we have at the time. Just like in a courtroom, you can, Only prove something with evidence and so that really is a great way to help boss up to the OCD because when you start presenting evidence, the rest of it just falls away.

Dr Nat Green:

Excellent. So you really encourage that, where's the evidence? Where's the evidence? And keep going back to, you must have evidence, otherwise. It's not real.

Erin Davis:

Exactly. And that's part of the method too, because A is for acknowledge where we can acknowledge and be aware of Where our mind is going and acknowledge like, Oh, I've stepped into the OCD bubble and I'm going to cross the bridge back over into reality. And so really acknowledging that you have to be vigilant with your thoughts and how you communicate to your partner. And then C is for contentment because time and time again, that's what the ladies want. They're like, I just want to be content. I'm not even looking for happiness. Like, I just want to be content and. I totally get it. Like they just want to be satisfied in their relationship. And finally, E is for empowerment because it's all about taking ownership of your emotions and feeling like you are in control again. And that OCD doesn't call the shots.

Dr Nat Green:

Wow. It sounds like such a powerful approach. And I know that you've said, you know, you've worked for the last decade. And some to keep seeing people one on one, but this problem is so big and so much more than that with one in 40 people experiencing OCD and knowing that 50 percent aren't even diagnosed or aren't even aware that OCD is a problem. So you mentioned that. to counteract some of that and to make a bigger difference and pay it forward in the world, which is really part of your mission. And I'm so excited for you about what lies ahead. You've started a group coaching program and I believe it's called Obsess Less, Love More. Correct me if I'm wrong. Is that right? So, I'd love for you to tell our listeners who I'm sure will have experienced varying degrees of relationship issues and No doubt they're relating to this going, Oh my God, maybe I do have relationship OCD and I didn't even know. So tell us about your group program.

Erin Davis:

Awesome. Well, so my Obsessed Less Love More program is all about breaking free from these cycles of obsessive thoughts and helping you build self confidence. In yourself and in your relationship and what I love about the group environment is that you're going to be with other women who also identify with OCD driving these unhelpful behaviors and these false narratives. And so we're going to get to the root cause of the relationship doubts and through the coaching through the community, they're going to have tools and strategies and a built in support system to help them with their relationships so that they can just stop all this anxiety and really step into a place where they are thriving in their relationships. And. I think it's just going to be beautiful to see where this goes in like, even 10 years from now, because. These methods, these tools are powerful and I see it on the one to one scale all the time. And I can't wait to bring it to more ladies because ultimately it empowers them to approach love with clarity and confidence and peace.

Dr Nat Green:

And really we all want peace and I just love the way you've used the letters of peace to really represent exactly what you're offering.

Erin Davis:

Thank you.

Dr Nat Green:

Yeah. I love that. So I feel like we've gone right around and we've learned so much about you and you've shared so many gold nuggets already. If you could share one thing with our listeners that would help them as they navigate their post trauma or adversity experiences and help them move into post traumatic growth, what would that be?

Erin Davis:

Okay. Well. I would start by saying I understand how it can feel easy to get overwhelmed and that things feel like a lot and you don't know the next step forward. And so my advice would be to remind yourself that love is built on little moments. And love is all about small, consistent action over time. It's not about perfection. So every time a doubt creeps in, try to shift that focus, that spotlight on where you're giving your time, energy and attention and really focus it on the things that serve your energy. So that might be. Gratitude, it might be the things that are going well in your relationship, and ultimately try to focus on the positives versus fixating on. What's missing because again, love is built with small, consistent action over time.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, I love that so much. Now that's a gold nugget. We all need to write that down. I absolutely love that. So thank you. We're nearing the end of the episode, and I would really love for you to share with everyone how they can find you.

Erin Davis:

Okay. Well, I've got lots of social media channels going on these days. So first I would start with my podcast, The Bossing Up Overcoming OCD, because at least the last dozen episodes have been focused on relationship OCD. And I see it continuing because I'm seeing a huge rise in downloads. So. I feel like I'm really on to something here with the relationship OCD, because more and more people are listening and finding it to be true in their lives. So, you can find my bossing up overcoming OCD show on all the major podcast platforms. And then I would also check out my YouTube channel and the handle is Erin Davis, YouTube that's E R I N. And you can also find me on Facebook and Instagram at Erin Davis coaching.

Dr Nat Green:

Excellent. And I'll put everything in the show notes so it makes it easier for everyone to find you. And, oh my goodness, I can highly recommend your podcast. I've been binging listening to the last few episodes over the last week and I'm loving them. You're a wealth of information and such a joy to listen to. So, yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you. I've really enjoyed that.

Erin Davis:

Well, and one last thing I wanted to mention for your listeners, I've got a checklist of 10 signs of relationship OCD. So I'm happy to pass along that information to your listeners.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, that would be fabulous because I think that we'll look at that checklist and I think that many of us will check a lot more than we expect we will on that checklist. Yeah, so one thing I always like to wind up with is, what do you think your younger self would think of everything that you've achieved?

Erin Davis:

Oh my gosh, she would be so proud. So proud that she has stepped into her power, her voice, and she's actually helping people. You know, that's a beautiful question, thank you.

Dr Nat Green:

Oh, excellent. Thank you so much again for being on the podcast and sharing all this valuable information. Is there anything else you would like to share or say to our listeners?

Erin Davis:

Well, um. So, just final words, practice your affirmations because they matter and really lean in to the real you because OCD is going to try to trick you into believing this feared self, but that's not your truth. Your truth is in the real you and you know who that is and that real you is a good person and lean into that and don't let anything Take that from you.

Dr Nat Green:

Love that so much. Thank you again, Erin, for coming on the show and sharing the space with me and for letting us share all of this with our listeners. I'm so grateful. Thank you again.

Erin Davis:

Thank you so much, Dr. Nat This was wonderful and I really appreciate, again, the opportunity to speak with you and just hold space with you. Thank you. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post traumatic growth so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions and regulate your nervous system. So you can fully thrive.

Dr Nat Green:

New episodes are published every Tuesday And I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates, then I invite you to hit subscribe and it would mean the world to us if you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit, too. You may also find me on Instagram at growing tall poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons and to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected, stay inspired, stand tall like the tall poppy you are. and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for now.

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Dr Natalie Green

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