Episode 23:- Healing From The Inside Out : Cultivating Internal Safety and Trust for Post Traumatic Growth

In this episode of Growing Tall Poppies, your host Dr. Nat Green delves deep into the foundational aspects of healing from trauma—internal safety and trust. These elements are not only crucial in the journey from trauma to post-traumatic growth but also essential for thriving in life. Drawing from personal experience and professional work, Dr. Nat breaks down how trauma impacts our inner world and shares actionable strategies to rebuild trust and safety within ourselves.

Key Takeaways:

1. Understand Internal Safety:
   Learn what internal safety truly means beyond external environments. It's the ability to feel safe within yourself, no matter the circumstances around you. Dr. Nat explains how trauma can erode this internal sanctuary and offers insight into restoring it.
2. The Connection Between Safety and Trust:
   Discover how trauma disrupts not only trust in others but, most importantly, trust in ourselves. Rebuilding this trust is integral to reclaiming a sense of control and confidence in navigating life's challenges.
3. The Impact of Trauma on the Nervous System:
   Explore the lasting effects of trauma on our nervous system and how it keeps us in a hypervigilant state, making it difficult to feel safe. Dr. Nat references  (TRE) and mindfulness practices that help calm the nervous system and restore internal peace.
4. Techniques for Rebuilding Internal Safety:
   Dr. Nat outlines practical strategies such as mind-body practices, deep breathing techniques, and self-compassion that foster a sense of safety within and help release stored trauma from the body.
5. Rebuilding Trust in Yourself After Trauma:
   Trusting yourself again after trauma is a gradual process that begins with small victories. Dr. Nat emphasizes the importance of listening to your intuition, setting boundaries, and embracing vulnerability as key steps in reclaiming your trust and confidence.
6. Moving from Trauma to Thriving:
   Discover how cultivating internal safety and trust provides the foundation for post-traumatic growth. By learning to let go of old stories and stepping into new opportunities, you can begin to thrive and rewrite your narrative.
7. Letting Go to Move Forward:
   Letting go is an act of trust. learn how releasing the grip of trauma allows space for new possibilities, helping you move forward with resilience and hope.

Dr. Nat also shares insights from her book Key to Freedom: The 7 Step Model to Triumph Over Trauma  https://drnataliegreen.com.au/books-2/ 

Be sure to vote for Dr. Nat in the International Women in Podcasting Awards— here https://womeninpodcasting.net/growing-tall-poppies/

Let’s take steps to rebuild internal safety and trust and continue growing together from trauma to thriving.

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Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green: 0:01

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post traumatic growth and not just survive, thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self awareness, and a deep inner peace. Through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand, we will combine psychology, accelerated approaches, coaching, and personal experience to assist you to learn, to grow, and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves in order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Growing Tall Poppies. I'm your host Dr Nat Green and today we're going to explore something that I feel is foundational to healing from our trauma, the concept of internal safety and trust. And we will look at how they are intertwined in our journey from trauma. through to post traumatic growth and right through to thriving. In my own healing journey and through my work with others, I've realized that trauma doesn't just disrupt our outer world and the worlds of those around us. It deeply impacts our inner world. It shakes the very foundation of how safe we feel within ourselves and in how much we trust in our own judgment, instincts and emotions at our very core. And I believe that until we fully acknowledge the true impact on our inner world and allow ourselves to feel the emotions and process them, we really cannot fully heal. So let's look at the essence of internal safety and trust. We'll start by breaking down what internal safety really means. So when we think of safety. We likely picture ourselves in a place or a situation where we feel safe, such as a neighborhood where we're not scared about anything in particular, we're surrounded by the people who care for us, or we're in an environment where we feel secure and cared for. But internal safety is much, much deeper than this. It's the sense of security we carry within ourselves. Regardless of what's happening around us, it's knowing that we can rely on our own body and our mind to respond to the challenges of life in a calm and grounded way. And I know in the last few episodes, we've been talking a lot about regulating our nervous system and how we can learn to do that. And this concept of internal safety is deeply connected to trust. When we've been through trauma, we don't only lose trust in others, in the world around us. But often we lose trust in ourselves because of our experiences and our own fears and negativity. We know that our worldview can change and the greatest harm can be in the internal impact and the damage that can occur deep within us. We question our choices, our feelings, and at times even our perception of reality. The things we once felt confident in can suddenly seem unreliable. We second guess everything, every choice, every decision we make, and the self doubt comes flooding in as we second guess everything we do. So cultivating internal safety is the process of rebuilding that trust in ourselves to know that we can navigate whatever life throws at us and still come out whole. Trauma has an impact. on internal safety and trust. When we experience trauma, we know that our nervous system is thrown into a state of hypervigilance. We are constantly scanning for threats, expecting danger, and feeling like we are walking on eggshells. Or as Alison so aptly described this in episode 18, walking on glass. And this can often be internally. And in this state, it's hard to feel safe within ourselves because our body is constantly bracing for impact. This response, while adaptive during a traumatic event, often lingers long after the danger has passed, leaving us disconnected from our inner peace and disconnected from who we are. and our identity at the core. In my book, Key to Freedom, the seven step model to triumph over trauma, I discuss how trauma fundamentally shifts our sense of safety. One of the key steps in our recovery is learning to let go, not in the sense of forgetting what's happened to us, but in loosening the grip that trauma holds over our nervous system. We need to shift from living in a state of survival to living in a state of presence where we can allow ourselves to feel safe again. and rebuild that trust in ourselves. So we need to learn to trust ourselves and our own bodies. As we know, our trauma experiences are stored in our body. And we've spoken in recent episodes about a number of techniques such as TRE and mindfulness that can help us to calm our nervous systems and engage in that self regulation that our body needs. These activities help us to build trust in ourselves and in our own bodies as our mind and bodies become less reactive to the world around us and we can have the space then to notice our thoughts, our feelings and our emotions and not react nor respond, just acknowledge and take each step we need to move forward. So let's look at rebuilding our internal safety. Trauma often leads to a desire for control. as a way to protect ourselves from future pain and to minimize our current pain. However, holding on too tightly can prevent us from truly healing and growing. So cultivating internal safety is not about controlling our environment to make it perfect. It's about learning to trust our body's responses and building that internal sanctuary. that we can retreat to when things feel overwhelming. So here are a few ways that we can rebuild our sense of internal safety. The first one is around mind body practices. Techniques such as TRE, tension and trauma release exercises, are incredibly effective for reconnecting us with our body and releasing any stored tension and past traumas that have been unknowingly. Stored within our nervous system. These practices really do help reset our nervous system and recalibrate the internal chaos so that it can return to a state of calm rather than remaining stuck in survival mode. Then number two, there's breathing techniques. Slow deep breathing tells our nervous system that we are safe. It's a simple, yet powerful way to bring our body back to a state of rest. and of repair. When we learn to breathe through the discomfort, we are sending a message to our body that we are safe and in control. And breathing techniques really are best practiced when we're not in a state of chaos and fear. So doing it at a time where we do feel okay, is really helpful because we know that practice makes us better. We can't be perfect at these things straight away. And the third one is around self compassion and reassurance. A critical aspect of cultivating internal safety is learning to be kind to ourselves. At its core, self compassion is about treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, respect and understanding that we would offer to a close friend in a moment of suffering or great need. It's giving ourselves the grace to make mistakes, the patience to recover from setbacks. and the space to heal without judgment or self criticism. Unfortunately, as we know, trauma often tends to create a harsh inner critic that tells us we're not safe or even that we're to blame for what happened or the consequences after what has happened. Counteracting this with self compassion helps us to rebuild a sense of internal security and ultimate safety. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with the resources that you have available to you and that it's okay to feel vulnerable as you do the work to heal. And the fourth one is around grounding in the present moment. Trauma pulls us into the past, replaying scenarios over and over. I'm sure you know how many times you've just gone over and over and over, replaying a scene of what you might have done, what happened, what you could have done differently. Trauma has a way of doing that. However grounding practices like meditation or mindfulness help anchor us back into the present moment. When we are present, we realise that in this moment, We are safe and we can trust that the moment will unfold in our favor. I have a really good friend and colleague, Margaret Johnson. And I write about this in that book that I mentioned earlier. She came up with a wonderful technique, which is fabulous for grounding us and helping us come out of unhelpful reactions and responses and getting us back in the now, and it's called time date stamping. So it's about if something's going on, bringing us back to the now by saying it's Monday the 19th of August at nine 30 in the morning and I'm safe and I'm okay and I'm here in the room. Something along those lines. So you say it's the time, whatever day it is. The date and where you are, because that brings it out of that part of the brain that is overanalyzing, going through it and puts us back into the here and now, where we know that we are not physically under any threat or at risk and we are safe. So time date stamping, a really amazing technique, and I'm very grateful for Margie who helped me use that with thousands of clients over the years. Now let's look at rebuilding that trust in ourselves. Trusting ourselves again after trauma requires patience and practice. In many cases, trauma leaves us feeling like we really can't rely on our own judgment anymore. We second guess our decisions, or we may even feel like we're in constant danger of making the wrong choices. So often we stop making any decisions and we get stuck in that analysis paralysis for fear of making the wrong decisions, so we choose to make none whatsoever, which of course is not going to be helpful as we move forward in our lives. The journey to rebuilding this trust begins with small steps. Let's start by acknowledging the small victories. Each moment you choose to breathe through the anxiety, each time you show up for yourself in a difficult situation. every time you honour your boundaries. These are the building blocks of trust, and it's super important to acknowledge every single step, no matter how small it might seem. Don't underestimate what that acknowledgement does within you, your mind, your body, and that gut feeling within you to rebuild that sense of trust. So here are a few practices that will support rebuilding that trust. The first one is listening to our intuition. Trust begins with learning to listen to that quiet inner voice, that gut feeling that I just mentioned, or gut response, because we know that our gut has many, many neurons and is a brain on its own. And it's starting to reconnect to your intuition is really helpful. Trauma often drowns out that voice. with fear and doubt. But as you heal, you'll find that your intuition begins to reawaken. However, it's up to us to start to make sense of those butterflies or that feeling in our stomach. It might not be significant anxiety. It might be our gut telling us what it needs us to hear. that This is okay. This is a good option. This is a safe person. So start by trusting yourself with small decisions and gradually build up to bigger ones. Because if we can start with the small things that aren't really important in the big picture. And we can do that, and we can see the response to that is okay, then that trust starts to build. So the second one is around setting boundaries. Trauma often disrupts our ability to set healthy boundaries. By practicing boundary setting, we reinforce the message that we can trust ourselves to protect our own emotional and physical well being. Boundaries aren't about shutting others out. They're about preserving our internal safety and self worth. So when we are at full capacity and our energy is really low and we want to say no to something, it's about honouring that, saying no to reduce our own sensory overload and improve our emotional well being. And the third thing is around embracing our vulnerability. Trusting ourself means accepting that vulnerability is not a weakness, it's actually a strength. And throughout this series of Growing Tall Poppies episodes, we have seen so many amazing guests with fabulous stories that have all described how they embraced their vulnerability, and it turned out to be their greatest strength. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, You are showing yourself that you can trust your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, and that you don't need to hide from them anymore. And we know that vulnerability leads to deeper connections within yourself and with others, which in turn, builds on and deepens that internal trust that we are all longing for. Now, how do we go from trauma to thriving and tap into the power of internal safety and trust? How do internal safety and trust lead us to thrive? They are the basis upon which post traumatic growth is built. When you feel safe within yourself, you begin to take risks again. Now I'm not talking reckless risks, but the kind of risks that allow you to step into new opportunities, to try new things, and ultimately to rebuild your life with confidence. Cultivating internal safety and trust. Also allows you to let go of those old stories. And this component is extremely important. We have often carried those old stories for a very long time. And those stories may have been handed down from others, or maybe interpretations that we made at a time when we were traumatised, in deep pain. and filled with a sense of despair and hopelessness and significant helplessness. Perhaps stories that say you're broken or that your trauma defines you and who you are. However, when you start to feel safe and begin to trust yourself again, you can rewrite your narrative to write the next chapter in your book. And that's when the real transformation happens. You realise that you are not a victim of your circumstances. but a survivor with the power to create a new reality and turn the page and write a new book. And now let's look at letting go in order to move forward. In the book, Key to Freedom that I mentioned and the method I've developed, we've talked a bit about in earlier episodes, I've emphasised the importance of letting go. And strongly believe that this is a crucial step in cultivating safety and trust. Letting go does not mean you forget what's happened to you, or that you ignore or bypass the pain. Absolutely not. It means you release the control that trauma has over your life. You release the fear, the shame, the guilt, and you create space for new possibilities. and hope for you to move forward. Letting go is an act of trust. Making the decision that you are ready to let go and trusting that by loosening your grip on the past, you'll have open hands to receive the future. Trusting that your body, your mind, and your heart can guide you forward, even when you don't know what lies ahead. This, I know, is a huge step forward into post traumatic growth and will truly move you into the thriving space. So as we wrap up today's episode, I really want you to take a moment to reflect on where you are in your healing journey. Are you cultivating internal safety or does what I'm saying feel like a complete disconnect? Are you beginning to trust yourself again? Remember that this is a process, one that takes time, patience and practice. Healing from trauma is not about erasing the past, but about reclaiming your future. And it all starts with the safety and the trust that you are able to build within yourself. When you cultivate that, you create a strong foundation for growth, for resilience and ultimately thriving. Thank you for joining me today on Growing Tall Poppies. I hope this episode has resonated with you and I encourage you to reflect on how you can begin to cultivate more internal safety and trust in your daily life. As always, I'm here to support you on your journey from trauma through post traumatic growth and through to thriving. And I'd love to take a moment again to thank you all for being a part of our community, to offer the deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who messages me between episodes or provides feedback and support. As without you, we wouldn't have a show. I am so grateful to each and every one of you. And just a reminder again that voting is currently open from now until the 1st of October for the International Women in Podcasting Awards, for which I'm a nominee, and I would be deeply honoured and grateful for your support and votes. I will put the link in the show notes. And if you're enjoying the podcast, please share and encourage your friends and family to place their vote as every vote counts and makes a difference in our bigger mission of changing the trauma landscape and ending the suffering associated with trauma around the world. So thank you once again, I'm deeply honoured and feel so blessed. That you listen to this podcast and that you're part of my world. Thanks again. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post traumatic growth so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions and regulate your nervous system. So you can fully thrive. New episodes are published every Tuesday And I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates, then I invite you to hit subscribe and it would mean the world to us if you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit, too. You may also find me on Instagram at growing tall poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons and to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected, stay inspired, stand tall like the tall poppy you are. and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for now.